A Moment of Weakness

Part 3

The house was cleaner than she left it. The kitchen was spotless, and the bed was made. Sasuke didn't hear her come in so he was in the office, writing a report. Sakura spotted him from across the nursery after putting the baby down to sleep. "Thank you, Sasuke, the house looks nice." She wrapped her arms around him where he sat. He kissed her cheek before standing up to wrap his arm around her.

He let Sakura melt into him before saying a word. "I don't have good news for you. I would like to promise I could never leave, but you know full well I can't do that."

Sakura sighed. "I know. Just, stay as long as you can."

"I do love you, Sakura. I don't say it enough."

"I love you too, Sasuke. It hurts a lot though." Her words are empty. She loves him more than he knows but it is difficult to say them aloud. Sarada began to stir while her parents embraced and tried to fix things. Sakura pushed him away to go take care of the baby, but he grabbed her wrist.

"Show me how to do this?" Sakura felt better hearing that and nodded. "I can't stay forever, but I want to do what I can."

He keeps telling me he can't stay. I just don't know when he'll leave. I want him here for as long as I can have him.

A week passed, time kept moving, and Sakura stayed home with the baby and her husband. She couldn't find the strength to be happy, because no matter what, Sasuke was going to leave again, and both of them knew. Sasuke tried to be helpful, Sakura showed him how to help, but could never relax enough to rely on him. The only promise Sasuke had made was a promise to leave again.

Sakura lay in bed with Sasuke and stared at the back of his head, squinting, trying to read his mind. He wasn't asleep and she knew it, and he knew she knew. He had been good and kind and tried to be a good partner more than he ever had. "Sasuke I-" she whispered. "Are you going to tell me when you're going to leave this time?" His breath expanded at the question. "You don't usually, I don't know why, I just want to know what to expect." He didn't respond, just turned and held Sakura. "You won't, okay, got it." She shifted away, turned away so she didn't have to see his face.

"It isn't that I don't want to tell you. I can't. Kept between Naruto and I, you should understand that."

"I do, but Sasuke, why am I a problem to you guys? We were a team for a long time and you treat me like I wasn't there."

"..."

"I am your wife now. The mother of your kid and of your regrowing clan. How am I not trustworthy of knowing where you are when you have to go? Sasuke I-" The calm breaths she had been counting on left her as she talked, and a sob escaped. "I can't understand it the way you want me to."

"It's not you Sakura. It has nothing to do with you."

"Never mind Sasuke. I'm going to sleep while I can."  the sheets of their shared bed swallowed her up to her shoulders and she held a pillow against her chest. Sasuke turned the other way, looked back one more time, and finally closed his eyes to sleep.

Only an hour later, Sakura woke up to check on the sleeping Sarada. Sasuke stayed in bed and ignored the shuffling of the bed. Sarada had gotten out of her swaddle and had her mother been there any later, she would have woken the neighbors with her cries. "Shh, shh, it's alright Sara, momma is here, papa is sleeping, shh," she hushed Sarada asleep and back into a better swaddle before taking her to the living room and sitting against the armrest of the couch, legs bent in and tucked next to her. She wasn't tired anymore, so she let the night pass by with the sleeping baby in her arms. She hoped Sasuke would come to check on her but knew that he wouldn't.

'I wonder what Lee would do?' Her mind wandered back to him. It was a curse now. In fact, Sakura realized she hadn't spoken to him since he visited back at the hospital. Thinking back on that day, she was reminded of the forehead kiss and how important it made her feel. How awful she could tell Lee was feeling. 'I should see how he's doing.' she looked down at Sarada and kissed her head. 'I might make him feel worse, so maybe not.'