A Moment of Weakness

Part 1

"I don't know, Sakura. I like being single, running my own shop. I'm not- I don't think I'm going to settle," Tenten said to Sakura as they relaxed in her shop. "But I'm really happy for you. It's good for you and Sasuke to be married. I just don't think that type of life suits me."

Sakura thought to herself for a moment. "What about Lee?"

"What about Lee?"

"He's so nice, you and him are really close, and he's just... respectful. Why wouldn't you want to settle with him?"

"Because we're not into each other? Lee and I were on the same team for a long time, and the whole time, Neji and I were sorta... something. But ever since his passing, Lee and I drifted a bit. I'm really happy with my single life and have been for the first time in years. So really, I'd like to stay that way." Tenten took another sip of her drink and sighed, frustrated with the nagging she faced from Sakura.

"Alright, Tenten. I'll believe you. I'm heading home, thanks for listening." Sakura left with another quick wave and started home to where Sasuke was supposed to be.

On the road, she bumped into Lee, who offered to walk her home. Sakura accepted the offer until the block before her home. It was now dark outside, and starting to get chilly.

"Sasuke?" She called out.

'Maybe he already knows. I didn't hide it well or cover up the test.'

The house was usually quiet, but never like this. The air was still and empty. "Sasuke?" She called again, placing her bag down and beginning to look around. "Sasuke?"

Not once did she get a response. She stepped into the bathroom, where the positive pregnancy test was supposed to still be in the trash. It was now out in the open, sitting on the sink, next to a paper note.

'I'm not coming home for a while. Take care of the baby while I'm gone. I'll send you a letter in a week, but I'll be gone for a while. Sorry, I have to take care of the village. I'm sure Naruto will be happy to help you out.

-Sasuke'

"Of course, he left." 'Sasuke always leaves when it's convenient for him.' "Naruto doesn't know how to take care of a child. Naruto isn't the father of my baby. What would he even do?" She muttered in frustration. "I love you, Sasuke. I really do. But why can't you just stay for once?" With a heavy sigh, she threw the test back in the trash. The note had no trace of where he would be going, but she kept it anyway, with the other stack of notes to tell her he was leaving. The stack had grown since they started living together, a stack of built-up betrail, and over the years, she just couldn't seem to get rid of them.

Anger and frustration led Sakura to bed that night. She thought Sasuke would like the fact they had started restoring the Uchiha clan. But no, he had to leave again. Sakura knew Sasuke was scared, but it was normal to be scared, he was supposed to be ready for this. He wasn't supposed to run away this time.

The collection of letters Sasuke left, or sent grew one more time after he left.

'I'll be gone for a while, and I won't have a way of communicating. Sorry.

-Sasuke'

Sakura couldn't help but ask, "Does Sasuke actually love me, or is he just using me?" she questioned aloud, letting her thoughts pass through her mind. 'He never did before. And now I'm pregnant with his kid, and I have to deal with it on my own. How is this fair to me?' It wouldn't hurt so bad if she knew he would send more letters or messages, but now she was left completely alone. She had friends, she knew people to rely on, but that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted her husband to be there to take care of her and their baby. The obsession she had with him as a child didn't exist anymore, it was love now. A deeper understanding of who he was and what he wanted, and even though that was true, she still couldn't understand why he would do that to her, especially now.

Every day, Sakura had hoped, almost expected to see Sasuke's messenger hawk bring a message or a sign of life or anything to prove he would be back before the baby came. Every week would pass, and her collection never grew. Her hope began to drown, being forced down by the emotional pain of pregnancy all alone. She worked and spent time with friends but never felt like any of it mattered. The reality of being alone weighed her down, no matter what she did.

Three months in, there was nothing. Pregnancy is hard. The morning sickness passed at this point, but the hormones changing, and growing a whole baby growing caused more exhaustion than she expected. Work at the hospital during the day, and back home. Sometimes out for groceries, forcing interaction with friends to make sure she doesn't isolate herself. No one else had gotten pregnant yet so her friends were supportive, but couldn't understand. None of their husbands had left them to do this all by themselves.