Racing for Keeps

Chapter 4

"Yes! Yes this is Camila Cabello. How....how do you know her?" I stutter, eyeing the doctor cautiously. "I'm the doctor on her case" he says simply. "Are you sure? Because when I found you, you didn't seem nearly as busy as the rest of the people flying around here!" I say with hesitancy in my voice, taking a step back from him. For some reason, I get the feeling I can't trust this guy.

"Yes son, I'm sure. She came in as one of the casualties from the collapse at Amansala" he says.

"What? No......no...NO!!! No!!!!" I scream falling to my knees. "She can't be dead! She isn't dead! You son of a bitch!" I get up on my feet, grab the doctor by the collar of his white coat and slam him to the wall. I know I'm making a scene and this will probably make news headlines somewhere, but I'm so angry the blood in my veins is boiling as I grip his shirt tighter. "You are the only person I've met so far that speaks a word of English and so help me god if you are lying to me about knowing the love of my life. I swear to you! You bring me to her right now!" I seethe at him, using my towering height to my advantage.

I watch as the doctor tries to respond, his cheeks turning red and his lips a bluish tinge. Realizing I'm pretty much choking him, I let go of him, but grab him by the arm so he can't run away. He looks at me as if he can see the black in my eyes, the anger; the fear. My skin is crawling with fear and I feel the fatigue worse than ever.  I don't even know how I'm still breathing, but something is telling my body to keep going.

Keeping pushing for Camila.

Taking a few deep breaths to collect himself, he quietly says "Right this way sir" as we push through the crowd of people. He takes me down long, poorly lit hallways; the smell growing worse and more consuming by the second. I realize I have nothing left in my stomach as I hold back dry heaves the closer we get to a sign labeled "ICU." We push through the doors and I see Josh. His head is hanging down and Bella is no where in sight.

"Josh?" I yell as the doctor and I get closer. "Josh, what's going on?" I ask as we walk by him, continuing to a room closer to the nurses station. The doctor whips around and points. "Camila is in here" he says. I feel Josh come up behind me and as we look through the window in the door, I see a blonde that looks like Bella and no one else. "Can I go in?" I ask, my body shaking; weakness starting to set in. "Yes, but I must warn you....Mr?"

"Mendes, Shawn Mendes. I'm her boyfriend" I reply.

"I must warn you Mr. Mendes, Camila's condition is serious. We have already performed one surgery on her, but had to close her up because we are running out of blood. She's stable for now, but she's on a ventilator. If we can't get more blood; she'll likely not make it." He says grimly.

You know that moment when you feel like your having an out of body experience, except it's real life and it's happening right in front of you? You can't stop it, you can't change it; because it all happens so fast?

Yeah...that's me right now. 

I can't help but think back to when the roles were reversed and it was me lying, fighting for my life on the bed and her being the one having the out of body experience.  We weren't even together then, but I realize now how much it must've taken out of her.  I realize now that all the times I've hurt her were made worse for her because she saw me.  The real me; and she loved me anyway.  She loves me anyway.  Now it's my turn to return the favor.

"So...to be clear, she's not dead?" I ask the doctor.  "No Mr. Mendes, she's not; yet." 

"But you said she was a casualty...." I say quietly, looking down, wringing my hands instead of the guys neck.  "Yes.  Casualty doesn't always mean a person has died son.  She was seriously injured due to the earthquake.  It took many rescuers to get to her.  We almost had to amputate an arm her first surgery, but we are giving her medication to fight any infection and her arm was able to be saved" he informs me, looking at me with a serious, but understanding face.

"I'm sorry for almost choking you Dr. Carlos" I say as I read the name on his badge finally.  "It's okay son.  I understand this is a very tense and traumatic time.  I'm sorry I didn't seem more with it.  I'm still trying to process what's happened myself.  Doctors are people too" he says solemnly as he turns to look into the room.  "She's in the bed next to the blonde one.  She insisted on being with Camila.  You can go see her now."

"Thank you doctor!" I smile weakly and nod at him as I take a deep breath and feel Josh's hand on my shoulder as I grasp the doorknob and push the door open.

I see Bella sleeping in the first bed, thankful she is okay.  Moving around the curtain to the second bed, I feel like the winds gotten knocked out of me as I see her for the first time in weeks.

Looking so small, pale and lifeless is my beautiful girl. Her hair is wrapped in a bun on top of her head. Her face is covered in dirt and scratches, dried blood and bruises covering her visible skin. Her left arm is wrapped in a thick white bandage and slightly elevated. Tubes and wires trace from her arms, her chest and lastly her mouth as a constant beeping breaks the silence in the room. The slight rise and fall of her chest seems almost rhythmic and soothing as I fight back tears.  Josh grabs me a chair and I sit at her side.  I'm too stunned to speak, to feel, to breathe. 

"Camila.....baby....it's me sweetheart.  I found you.  Please come back to me" I say quietly as I finally let the tears consume me, gently grabbing her hand, bringing it to my lips and letting my head collapse on her bedside as I finally let my eyes close, my body giving into the exhaustion it's been fighting all day.