Racing for Keeps

Chapter 11

Shawn's POV

Camila's surgery is taking hours. I mean, I know it's brain surgery, but I didn't expect it to take so long. It's been four hours, and I don't know if I can stand it any longer. If she's not back in her room in another hour, I'm marching into that surgical suite myself to see what's taking so long.

Meanwhile, Josh and Bella have fallen asleep on one couch, while I watch James and Sinu pace back and forth. My parents and Aaliyah went to get everyone food, but at this point I can't eat. I can't think or move or feel until I know Camila is okay.

About 45 minutes later, Dr. Shepard, Dr. Carli and Dr. Grey all come into the room. Sinu and James are now sitting, and my parents and sister have just walked in the door. The three doctors look at us with solemn faces and I feel my gut sink to my toes. I'm so scared for what they're about to tell us.

Holding my breath, I watch as they walk towards Sinu and James, taking a seat on the table in front of them.

Oh gosh....

Sitting at eye level...

This can't be good.

Honestly, the next twenty minutes are a blur. I don't remember anything other than Sinu crying and James looking like he was going to pass out. Josh is holding Bella tightly in his arms and my sister is trying to get me to come back to reality.

"Shawn?........ Shawn? Did you hear?" My sister asks, waving her hands in front of my face, snapping me out of my daze.

"H-hear ww-what?" I ask, looking down at my lap.

"Camila's going to be okay. There was a minor complication, which is why it took so long, and they had to shave more of her hair off, but she's okay Shawn. She made it through" my sister tells me as I look at her in disbelief.

"She's okay?" I whisper, meeting my sisters eyes.

"She's okay Shawn" Aaliyah nods. "She did great, and the doctor said they don't expect any permanent damage."

"Oh thank god!" I exclaim, breathing a sigh of relief. "She's okay.... my baby is okay." I say more to myself than anyone else.

Everyone in the room sheds tears and shares hugs while we wait to hear word about Camila once she's out of recovery. The doctors had warned us, as with any brain surgery, and similar to when she woke up here the first time; she may have amnesia. My heart pounds at the thought of her not remembering me, even temporarily. It feels like we've been playing this game of racing for keeps. Trying to stay together, racing against all odds to do so. It seems like for every one step forward, we take ten steps back. I just want all this madness to stop; I want stillness, and for god sake I want my girlfriend to wake up and remember me. I want her to remember us.

All of us.

Two long hours later Camila is wheeled back into her room. White bandages and thick gauze wrapped around her head. Bruises around her eyes and on her right cheek from the surgery. She looks like she was just in a fight, and maybe quite literally she was; the fight of her life.

Monitors beeping break the silence in the room as we all continue to take her in for the first time. Sinu, my mom and my sister are all at the foot of her bed, while James and I sit at her bedside. She has yet to open her eyes, but the doctors said it might be awhile. With the complication, they had to keep her under anesthesia for a little while longer, hence the reason it's taking her longer to wake up.

Holding her hand, I fight back tears as I watch James do the same. Josh is still holding Bella in his arms as she's now crying. Even in the short time she's known Camila, she's become an important part of our group. I'm so thankful to her for befriending my girlfriend and searching for her after the earthquake. I have a feeling, given the chance, her and Camila will have an unbreakable bond when this is all over.

"Mmmm.....uugghhhhhh" a soft whimper breaks us all out of our dazes. "Mmm...my head" Camila whispers as her eyelashes flutter.

"Mama?" She cries. "James? Gosh mmm-my head hurts" she whimpers again, her eyes still not fully open.

"We're right here honey" Sinu says as she gets up from her chair and stands next to James. "Hey sis, I'm right here" James adds.

Opening her eyes, I feel myself about to lose it. Her chocolate brown eyes have never looked more beautiful than they do now. She furrows her brows in pain, so I squeeze her hand, asking her if she wants us to get the nurse for some pain medication. James and Sinu have her other hand in theirs as she smiles groggily at them before looking at me.

"Who are you?" She asks me, the bright look in her eyes, fading as she stares at me. "Why are you holding my hand?" She questions.

"Baby, it's me... Shawn.. I'm your boyfriend, remember?" I tell her calmly as I keep her hand in mine.

She looks at me in confusion, "Shawn? As in Shawn Mendes?"

"Umm....yes" I chuckle slightly. "That's me" I reply.

"What are you doing here? You know I hate you! How could you think I'd want you in my room? And why is half your head shaved, is that some kind of ploy to get me to notice you?" She says as she swiftly removes her hand from mine and tries to move away from me.

My heart drops, my blood runs cold and quite frankly I'm frozen in place.

This cannot be happening.

Looking around the room, she sees everyone else around her. "I have no idea who you all are, but you need to leave!" She says loudly. Sinu tries to comfort her and tell her she's still groggy from her surgery, and that everyone in the room is someone she knows and loves.

Despite that, a few minutes later, everyone but Sinu exits the room. To say I'm in shock is an understatement. I knew this was possible, but a part of me thought she was joking like last time.

This is no joke. She really doesn't know who I am to her other than the Shawn Mendes she used to hate.

James pulls me aside and starts to apologize as worry for his sister and concern for me cross his face. "It's not your fault James!" I tell him behind teary eyes. "We all knew this could happen. Let's just pray it doesn't take her too long to get her memories back" I sigh.

I can't lose her. Not again.

The first time nearly killed me, and I can't say that this time wouldn't if she doesn't remember me.

James nods his head in agreement. "I really thought she'd be an exception, ya know?" He says. "She's the strongest, most stubborn person I know.... but this.... to see her like this. It just doesn't seem real" he says in disbelief.

"I know" I say. "All we can do is pray this is only temporary."

"I'm going to get her to remember you Shawn. Whatever it takes. I'm not going to let her forget the man that loves her. I promise" he says reassuringly, although I'm not quite sure who he's trying to convince at this point. All I can do is nod.

That night, I sleep on a cot in the hallway outside her room. James and Sinu are in her room while the rest went back to the house for the night. Even though she doesn't remember me now, I can't help but want to be close to her, and if I can't be beside her, I'll be wherever I can be until she needs me. Until she remembers me.

I'm not going anywhere.

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Please don't hate me.... I'm sorry if this was predictable to some of you, if you don't like it I can change it, just let me know.

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