help me(jikook)

Thirty-six

One month later

Jungkooks pov

I

look down listening to our manager scold me again for kissing jimin on stage. This is like... The 100th time he's scolded me for this,

I snap back to reality when he huffs "you aren't depressed anymore jungkook! So answer me!!" I stand up "REALLY?!" everyone in the room turns to me. I tear up "You don't know what goes on in my mind!!"

He rolls his eyes "you aren't, you have pills and a therapist... AND you haven't spoken about it! So-" I cut him off "because mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain! But-but it's more common! I try and try to conceal it! I don't want to burden people with MY problems! It's easier to say my tooth is aching than to say my mind is broken!"

His eyss widen "so you still have depression?" I nod "YES! it doesn't just dissappear!! I can't just wake up one day without depression! I can't just suddenly be happy!! Why can't you understand that!?"

The door opens and the other members walk in. Jimin gasps "jungkook?" I look at him "I-I'm sorry..." he walks to me and glares at manager "what did you fucking do?!"

Manager stares at me and tears roll down my cheeks "I-I just want to be happy..." jimin looks at me "wait... You still aren't happy?" I look down "I-I am! Of course I am....its just...the voice-"

Yoongi cuts me off "is telling you that everything is a lie?" I look at yoongi and nod "y-yeah.." he sighs "the voice... Is back?" jimin steps back "have you been taking your pills?" I shake my head "they don't help!! They don't help hyung! They make things worse!!!"

More and more tears roll down my cheeks "and-and I don't want to do this anymore!! I was happy! I was and now I just keep getting hate and scolded for everything I do!! Why can't I just be happy?!"

Jimin wraps his arms around me holding me tightly "hey hey... Its okay you'll be happy... I promise" I look at manager and wipe my tears "s-sorry for raising my voice...i-I'll sort everything out on weverse... I promise"

I kiss Jimins cheek and then hand my pills to him and walk out the room fiddling with a charmed bracelet jimin got me...

God... What is wrong with me?! I ruin everything!!

Jimins pov

I

glare at our manager "what.. Did... You... Do?!" he sighs "I was telling him about the damage that kiss did to the band... And I didn't think he had depression anymore" my eyes widen "You fucking-"
Jin sighs "don't jimin.... Just leave it"

Manager walks out looking guilty and I go to walk out but stop when hoseok starts to talk "if a toddler had a pair of scissors and start to run around with them, their parents would chase them to get them back, they'd be filled with panic, the child doesn't know the harm he could do to himself.."

Taehyung looks down "but when they're teenagers and adults they pick up a blade and bring it to their skin so easily...and as long as they smile.. Nobody questions anything, they know the harm and damage they can do.. And yet they to it to feel numb and feel free..."

Namjoon looks at them and then at me" The pain someone must feel inside to intentionally resort to something so painful on the outside just must be extreme.."

Jungkook walks back into the room. I look at him "baby?" he walks to me "C-can I have a hug?" I nod "of course you can" I wrap my arms around him and he leans his head on my chest. I kiss his head "you haven't cut have you baby?"

He looks up at me and then steps back. He bites his lip "I-I wanted to talk to you...but manager told me to stay away from you... And-and all the other hyungs have their own problems... So I didn't want to burden them"

I peck his nose "oh baby.... You will never burden any of them... They're all willing to drop anything to make sure that bunny smile stays on your face, I'm so sorry I didn't notice you were upset" he shakes his head "I-it's not your fault..."

I pull him into a hug again and kiss his cheek "I love you so so so much... Don't listen to what anyone else says, it's me and you against the world" he looks at me and I intertwine put pinkeys "that's a promise" he smiles a little and then kisses my cheek gently "I-I love you too..."

One of the nwe stylist noonas walk in and jungkook glances at her and gulps "C-can we g-go and get food?" I glance at her and then at jungkook "has she done something baby?" jungkook sighs "s-she took my pills a-and left a nasty note..."

MY eyes darken "what did the note say?" he steps back "I-I don't want her getting into trouble..."
Hoseok gasps "oh! This one kook?" we turn to him and he holds up a note. Jungkook nods "yes.."
I take it from him still having my arms around jungkook

I then read the note which calls him an attention seeking slut and not even makeup can make him beautiful.

I kiss jungkook nose "go and sit with jinnie-hyung okay baby?" he nods and then walks and jin opens his arms, jungkook then sits on jins lap wrapping his arms around jin nuzzling his head in jins neck like a baby"

I walk to the stylist noona "excuse me?" she turns to me and blushes "oh park jimin... Lovely to meet yo-" I cut her off "you're fired." her eyes widen "wait... What?" I hold the note up "giving notes to my boyfriend like this is fucking unacceptable! I won't allow my boyfriend to be treated this way! Get out!"

She glares at jungkook and then walks out with her arms crossed.
I chuck the note in the trash and look at another stylist noona "can you go out and get jungkook a fluffy blanket, some pajamas, fluffy socks and a hot chocolate in his bunny mug?"

She smiles and nods "of course I'll be right back" I walk to jungkook and gently lift him off jins lap and sit with him cuddled up to me. I hold him close to me.

The stylist noona walks back and puts all the things I asked for down and Jungkooks drink on the table "here you go..." I smile "thank you noona" she Nods and then walks out the room leaving just the band in the room.

We had just had a concert so many of us are half asleep already..
I change jungkook into his bunny onesie and put his fluffy socks on him so he won't get cold.
I then wrap the blanket around him and pass him his drink which he holds cutely

I kiss his head "get some rest baby, I'll carry you home okay?" he goes to reject but I stop him "I insist" he nods a little and then sips at his drink.

I saw the cuts on his wrist....
I'm such a bad boyfriend for not noticing he wasn't happy, I was too focused on fans and work....
I feel so bad, I wish I could do something...

I feel a ring in my pocket and I sigh and whisper "maybe another day... Today isn't the right time..."