help me(jikook)

three

One week later

Jimins pov

I huff watching jungkook walk into his hotel room. We're currently in London on our tour, we're getting ready for our concert together but jungkook just left!

I've had enough of this.
I walk to Jungkooks hotel room and knock on the door "jungkook open up or I'll get the staff to unlock the door"
I gasp when I hear crying inside.

The crying dies down a little "I'm sorry hyung....I'll uh....be there....two seconds!....I'm just changing" there is moving around inside the room and then the door opens.
I tilt my head "you put a hoodie on....it's boiling out today"

He shakes his head "no....I'm rather cold....uh....what did you want anyways? None of you ever come to my room" I shrug and push the door open a little "just wanted to see how our maknae was....you don't let any of us near you anymore!"

He pushes the door closed slightly so I can't see inside the room "I have my reasons hyung....please don't worry about me....I'm alright" I sigh "you're lying jungkook..." He shakes his head "I'm not....look hyung....I'm sorry....but I really want to be alone right now"

Before I can say anything he closes the door.
I cross my arms....he's hiding something from us!
Yoongi always knows what to do...maybe I should ask him!

I walk to yoongi and hoseoks shared room and knock on the door. The door opens revealing hoseok "oh hey chim... whats up?" I smile "is Yoongi-hyung awake?" He nods and opens the door more.
I walk in to see yoongi sat on the bed.

He looks at me "oh hey jimin....what's up?" I sigh "it's jungkook....I'm positive he's hiding something from us....he keeps saying he's fine....he's wearing a hoodie hyung! The weather is boiling hot outside....I'm really worried hyung"

He tilts his head "dude do you love him or something? You're obsessed about him" I cross my arms "no hyung I don't love him...he's my friend and our maknae...we need to be there for him!",

Hoseok sits next to yoongi "jimin.... I'm sure he's just shy.... he'll warm up soon....don't worry so much....if he needs help he'll ask" I shake my head "he won't though!! Ugh- I thought you two would help....I'll find out what's happening on my own"
I stand up and walk out the room.

Jungkooks pov

Since when did jimin care about me??? I always thought he'd be too busy flirting with every girl or boy he sees to notice my mood change....

I'm sure he'll give up soon... it'll all go back to normal....
I really don't want to bother anyone with my problems..... especially jimin....jimin is always there for others....I'm sure he's to worried about everyone else to have enough time to worry about me....

There have been a few times where I was going to ask one of my hyungs for help...but....I chickened out because I'm a pathetic and worthless bitch....
It's easier keeping it to myself anyway.... nobody sees how much a smile can hide....

My depression is kinda like a war.....there have been some victory....but....it seems like.... I'll die trying to beat it....
The whole fucking reason I keep my feelings to myself is actually because I have no idea how I'd explain them to people....I don't even know why something I just burst out crying....if I cant understand my feelings myself....how can I make others understand??

It's better for me to be alone.....not even my eomma and appa care about me.....

army are always so happy to see us on stage or when we make a new song or release a new album....and I don't want to disappoint them all....if I tell them I have mental illnesses then I'll have to take a break....and I don't want to do that because army needs-.
Actually...............................
Army needs bts....it wouldn't really matter if BTS didn't have seven members but instead six...

The fanchant still would work without me....
Kim namjoon
Kim seokjin
Min yoongi
Jung hoseok
Park jimin
Kim taehyung
Bts

Nothing would change if I just.... suddenly disappeared..... nobody would care....the world would still turn....

I didn't realize tears we're streaming down my cheeks until I look in the mirror and sigh "I'm so weak..."
I wipe my tears quickly when there is a knock on the door.

Oh no no no.....what should I do?? I take a deep breath and walk to the door opening it.
I gulp a little seeing jimin again, he smiles "hey Kookie....just curious if I could stay with you tonight in here? Taehyung is snoring really loudly"

I hesitate but look around the room to make sure he wouldn't find anything, I then open the door and nod "o-okay" he walks in and smiles "thanks Kookie!"
Luckily there were two beds in the room

I walk to my bed and sit down facing away from him. He chuckles "night Kookie....see you in the morning for our concert!" I nod "night hyung...."
He lays in the other bed and closes his eyes after turning the lamp off.

I sigh and stare out the window....
The world would still turn....the sun would still shine....jimin would keep smiling....If I wasn't here.....army would still support bts and love BTS.... without me....
I'm really not needed at all......

And I'm not sure if I can cope anymore....