Convergent (A Divergent Trilogy Parody) [On Hold]

Divergent ~ Chapter Ten

CHAPTER TEN 

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Since I didn't have to fight yesterday, I know I'll have to today. I walk into the training room with confidence, cracking my knuckles and shit, but then stop in front of the board that tells me who I'm fighting against: Peeta.

Peeta's a big man. He's shifted from Straightforward. His father's a baker, which means he eats a lot. Peeta is six and a half feet tall, blonde, and weighs a little too much. Even as I glance across the hall, I see him stuffing his mouth with pieces of cake. He's talking and snickering with his friends, his chubby, flabby face dangling with his words. I swallow.

"You're screwed," Bob says, coming up behind me, as he reads who I'm fighting.

"Gee, thanks," I mutter.

"No, but you're seriously screwed," Kristina repeats, as if I haven't grasped the concept yet. "His signature move is sitting on people."

"I could... wiggle out," i try.

"No," says Ben, his hands behind his back, eyeing Peeta. "Let's say Peeta weighs about... four hundred pound, if we're lucky. You must be about a hundred and twenty? You're small, admittedly, but once he sits on you, all that flab is going to ooze and keep you pinned. Your chances are slim." I sort of hate that he's come from the Smart faction.

"Just pretend to be unconscious after a while," Bob says, shrugging. "No one will blame you. I mean, everyone knows he's huge."

I sigh and bite my lip. I have a tiny body, even my boobs aren't booby. It's still kind of offensive that my friends don't think I can take on a person who is two feet taller than me and weighs thrice of what I do. Friends ought to provide moral support. Ugh.

Currently, Edward and Bella -- this couple that transferred from the Smart faction -- are fighting. They're both super-pale and have reddish eyes. They're probably Jewish.

Once their fight is over, I walk with shaky legs, determined to prove that I can beat this fat ass. He stands opposite me and offers a very pudgy smile. I bite my lip again, hoping this goes well.

The first couple of times, he starts the attack. Diving towards me, he tried to wrap his chubby hands around me, but I slip away. For a while, it's cat-and-mouse, until Eric gets bored. "I don't have all day," he announces, and Peeta lunges (or tries to) once more.

I scream a battle cry and aim a punch at his face, but I miss and hit his ear. He gets sort of annoyed, and in a thick voice, says, "You're mine, puny shit."

I try to punch his stomach, but all the flab sort of makes my hand bounce back. He has boobs bigger than mine. I stare at them for a moment, envious, and in that time, he pushes me to the floor and sits on me.

The air is knocked out of my lungs. I feel myself getting crushed under him. I try to move, but I can't. He turns and punches me with meaty hands, knocking me out. My last thought is: Goddamnit. I should've been able to take him.

~~~~~

I wake up with Kristina and Ben and Bob sitting in front of me.

"You look terrible," they state.

"Fag-ugly," Kristina specifies, and I shake my head, annoyed. To change the topic, I nod to her. She's holding an ice pack to her jaw.

"What happened?"

"Ben kicked my ass."

"I wouldn't kick that fine ass," he says, shrugging, and she shoves him a little. Friendly and flirtatious. I kinda start shipping them.

"Anyway, we're heading for dinner. Just wanted to tell you that we have an outing tomorrow, where they tell us how to use our parkour skills for jobs."

"Oh," I say, nodding, sitting up straight. Everything hurts, even though I'm sure there are painkillers in my body. Back in Selfless, they didn't let you use painkillers because pain is selfless. What a bunch of idiots.

Kristina and Ben move on, but Bob stays back.

"That was pretty hot, you know."

"Sorry?" I ask, confused.

"Nothing." He blushes, and I smile tightly.

"Think your family will visit on Visiting Day?" This is what we call it when our parents can come see us after we've transferred. Unfortunately, I'm sure my parents hate me because both Augustus and I ditched them to live their boring lives.

"I don't think so."

He nods. "I'll catch you later, then."

I nod. He leaves. After a while, I leave too, not wanting to let Peeta know that he made me stay in the hospital though. I just want to shove a bakery down his throat.

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A/N: THE FAT THING IS NOT MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE. I am very sorry if anyone got offended, but this is a parody, and that adds an element of humour. It is NOT targeted at anyone or anything. It's just... there. Again, I'm sorry if I hurt anyone.

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