Blue ✓

♠ twenty one ♠

That evening when they driving back form work, Baba brought up the topic of moving houses. "The renovations will done in about a month hopefully. Make sure to go pick a carpet with the worker."

Rayyan nodded back distractedly.

'Besides, it's not like you ended up killing someone, right?'

When Aiyla said that, he forgot how to breathe in that moment. 'I almost did. You. I ruined your life because I couldn't keep my emotion in check.' His mind hand screamed. His mouth wanted to follow, but as usual, the words climbed to his throat, and refused to move any further up. 'Coward.'

"-yan!"

"Huh?" He blinked to see the traffic light green in front of him accompanied with angry blaring from behind them.

Baba frowned. "What is up with you? Pay attention. Or let me drive."

"Sorry, Baba."

"What's on your mind?"

Years of shutting away everyone reflexively had him clamming up. But, he had been working to fostering a closer relationship with Baba. Baba's original reaction to his proposal to Aiyla gave him the courage to speak.

"Should I tell her about the accident?"

There was no need to specify 'her' nor the 'accident'.

Baba stayed silent for a while. "That's what's been eating at you?"

Rayyan nodded back wordlessly.

Baba sighed. "There's no right or wrong answer I can give you. You know her better than me. How do you think she will react?"

That's what scared him too. He should have said something before the wedding so she would have the choice to back out. But now they were married. What would Aiyla think about being married to the man who ruined her life, and still continues to hide it from her?

"The best time to tell her would have been before the marriage," Baba said, unknowingly giving voice to Rayyan's thoughts. "Now, you'll need to keep your marriage in mind."

This wasn't really an answer.

"If it's really eating and killing you to keep it, then tell her. Otherwise, she will start to think it's something else. Once a doubt is planted, it will be hard to get rid of it."

She did deserve to know. If she found out from someone else, that would make everything even worse.

"Thank you, Baba. I'll tell her." Rayyan decided.

♕

After dinner, Rayyan sat on the bed. Aiyla was doing her nightly routine. Rayyan decided to take this time to give himself a pep-talk and control his jitters.

When Aiyla got under the duvet, she placed a hand on his arm giving a small frown. "Everything okay? You've been off since dinner."

Rayyan felt his heart was being hugged by fluffy kitten.

He cleared his throat, wondering how to start. 'We need to talk'? That sounded he wanted to divorce her. 'I need to tell you something'? That made it sound like he was confessing to having some disease. 'I must confess'... what was he confessing? Murdering someone and hiding the body under the bed or something?

"I was thinking it's such a shame you don't remember me from secondary. Otherwise, you'd have at least a little idea of how handsome I am."

"Oh my god." Aiyla groaned. "Here I thought it was something serious. Even if I remembered meeting you, I would've forgotten by now. I barely remember how even Ammi looks now." She refuted immediately.