Murder of Order

Chapter 42

Sa bawat oras na lumilipas, pakiramdam ko ay unti-unti akong nababaliw. I kept telling myself that everything is gonna be fine but my anxiety is so severe that I couldn't just stay still on one place and couldn't stay calm even for a second.

I never expected for things to be easy but I didn't expect my initial situation to be this hard either.

Alex is very cautious about me. From my random movements to the way I speak and even with my choice of words, he seems to be scrutizing all of it.

He comes in the room empty-handed and always checks on the locks of the door.

The motherfucker even had the windows locked which made me feel even more suffocated.

I couldn't sleep straight because of fear that he might take advantage of me while I am asleep. I wanna get my phone and weapons back but with how cautious Alex is right now, it is still very impossible for me to get those.

I literally just can't do anything else aside from executing that single part of my plan which is to act docile on him.

It's been four days since I have first gained consciousness and all I have right now is still that wristwatch with date which was the very first goal of my escape plan.

Simpleng relo lang pero pahirapan pang ibinigay sa akin ng gagong Alex na iyon.

I had to use my boredom as a reason why I wanted this wristwatch. I don't have a phone and he also wouldn't give me a pen nor a pencil so I could pass time by writing so I said he should give me the wristwatch at least.

Lahat ng pwede kong magamit na dahilan kung bakit sa lahat ng bagay itong relo ang hiningi ko ay nagamit ko.

I couldn't go out, I couldn't even see the daylight because the windows are locked so there's no way for me to tell what time of the day it is. I reasoned that even if he got me hopelessly locked up in here, at least I could still have hope and look forward for another day with the help of the wristwatch keeping me updated with the time and date.

I begged for it and fortunately, I was able to get it.

Now thinking about everything I have done and still have to do makes me tear up for the ninth time.

Damn it! When will this tears drain out? This repetitive crying is weakening me.

Ilang sandali akong napasabunot sa buhok ko bago ako sumobsob sa isang unan.

I miss them all so bad. Parang pinipiga ang dibdib ko sa sakit kaya dahan-dahan akong bumangon para makahinga ng maayos.

I feel so lost and hopeless right now.

I know I have to be tough to get out of here but damn it, my situation makes me feel so weak.

I suppressed my sobs with a pillow.

I miss my brother and Hax so much and I'm so worried about all of them especially with Dima who have been shot.

I hope he's okay.

I hope everyone's okay. They're probably going nuts looking for me right now.

I wonder how things ended between them and Ronald's men. Okay lang kaya sila?

I clutched the pillow and burrowed my face down before I cried even harder.

I've been in here for seven days now and I still haven't made any significant progress. The last time I tried to fight with Alex made him lock up the windows.

Natatakot ako sa kung ano ang susunod nitong gagawin kung sakaling magalit ko ulit ito. I have to be extra careful now so I could already gain his trust.