I See You (Campus Crush series)

31

(Casper's POV)

(Present)

I woke up later that evening with an ache in my chest. It wasn't quite so physical as it was emotional, but the pain was overwhelming.

I felt a hand brush my hair out of my face, and there was David, right by my side as always. My eyes fluttered, heavy. I felt like I was sinking. Something was weighing me down, crushing me.

But at least he was here with me. What would I do without him?

"Darling..."

I wanted to breathe, but even that felt like a burden. "You're okay," David soothed, rubbing me gently against the chest as if he knew exactly what I was feeling. And, honestly, he did know. He'd been through this. He'd been through worse than this.

"Please," I begged, not knowing what I was begging for.

"I know, love. I know it hurts. What can I do?"

I sat up like it was the hardest thing to do. Every inch of me felt numb. "I-I need... I need to find his scarf. I put it in the closet, I think." I pulled myself up higher and swung my legs over the edge of the bed to stand up.

"Scarf?" David asked in confusion, rushing to my side and helping me to the closet. It was good thinking because I was probably on the verge of collapsing onto my face. "What scarf?"

"It's a- a reddish, maroon knitted scarf. I know I hung it up over a hanger, have you seen it?" I began to scour our wardrobe, sifting through clothes in a panicked desperation. It was purely irrational, to the point I freaked when I didn't see it. "No, no, no, no! It was right here, I swear! I couldn't have just lost it! It's the only thing I have of his. Where else could I have put it?" I whirled around to look at David, and there was concern all over his face. Then his eyes gazed past me and he pointed.

"Casper, it's right there."

I spun around, realizing it was in my face all along. "Oh, thank God." I sighed, grabbing it off the hanger and holding it close to my chest. "It was Avery's. Well, his mom's. After she passed, he kept it. Said it brought him comfort."

"Oh."

I looked up at him and was suddenly swarmed with guilt. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"You were led to believe I had an affair with him. And here I am holding his scarf like a lifeline." I shook my head, feeling my expression crack into deeper sadness. "I'm sorry..."

"Casper, that's not what I'm thinking at all."

"I don't know how you can stand to look at me let alone comfort me."

"You're hurting, that's how." He cupped my cheeks. "Do you really think your cries don't affect me?" I heard a playfulness in his voice, and I couldn't be more grateful for it. I sank into his warm embrace, finding a bit of peace there.

**

(Past)

I walked out of the Chief of Surgery's office with a complete look of satisfaction on my face. I immediately dialed David's number, too excited to share the good news.

"Hello, my love," he greeted when he picked up. I grinned like an idiot, strolling down the hall slowly. "How did your meeting go?"

"Guess who gets to keep his license!"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously," I practically squealed, trying not to attract too much attention as I approached the elevator to go to the third floor. I thought I'd go to Avery and pray to the heavens he was still here. Truth be told, he was the reason for the storm in my mind. If I could just see him, maybe I'd feel calm. But for now, I was grateful to have my career.