I See You (Campus Crush series)

14

picture of home 1/3

(past)

"I'm scared," Avery whispered to me as Hazel and I prepped him for his surgery. "Is Serena coming?"

I shook my head before realizing he couldn't see me very well. "I tried calling her again, and I left her a message. I'm just not sure. Avery, it's not too late to contact your brother."

"Don't bother," he stubbornly refused. Still keeping his voice quiet, he told me, "I know you think I need his support but you've been here for me more than he ever has, trust me."

"My husband always says family is everything."

He smiled a beautiful smile. "With conditions."

I laughed softly at that before Hazel called my name. "Dr. Larsen? I think he's good to go."

"Okay. Tell the nurses outside."

She nodded and when she walked out, I smiled reassuringly at Avery.

"It's going to be fine. The nurses will take you to the OR while Hazel and I go get scrubbed in. I'll see you there, okay? Any questions?"

He slowly sighed. "I know I've been joking about it but... please don't let me die."

I smirked. "You won't. Besides, I can't wait for you to see your haircut."

At that moment, as he quietly laughed, the nurses came in to take over. I gave Avery's hand a soothing squeeze and promised I'd see him again. Most would say it was a bad idea to make such a promise, but I was confident. Dr. Naiman knew what he was doing.

And so did I.

**

The atmosphere inside the operating room was calm and relaxed. The beeping of the heart monitor was oddly comforting, and there wasn't a thing to worry about.

"Hazel," I acknowledged my intern, "Dr. Naiman is folding back the dura to expose the brain. You could use retractors to very gently create sort of a corridor between the skull and organ, okay?" I taught. She nodded, suppressing her enthusiasm. I smiled at her. "It's alright, you know."

"What is?" she asked with bright eyes.

"To be excited," I responded.

"Dr. Larsen is right," the attending agreed. He focused on the delicate nerves and vessels through his surgical loupes. As he spoke, he didn't dare lose concentration for even a millisecond, since that was how long it took for a fatal mistake to be made. "It is often said that surgery is more art than science."

"I think it's equally art and science," I countered. "Much like an artist, our hands are incredibly still. We're careful, precise. We're patient. But you can't put an artist in our place."

"To be fair, I suck at painting," Hazel admitted. "We rehearse and perform surgery, so maybe it's more theater than science?"

We chuckled. I was happy to have any form of small talk as we worked for hours.

But somewhere along the line, I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach. I held my breath, looking at Dr. Naiman as he paused. "Doctor," I called, hiding my anxiety. "We've got the tumor. All of it, yes?"

His hands stayed unimaginably still. "We've got all we are able to. His cancer is more aggressive then we expected; it's reached his brainstem. Just as we feared."

I closed my eyes as my heart fell. Of course. Just when I thought there'd be no surprises today. Damn it.

"It's practically microscopic, we'd be foolish to remove it surgically," he continued.