I See You (Campus Crush series)

28

Pic of Dawson

(Present)

I was huddled underneath the covers of my bed, shutting myself out from the rest of the world.

I could hear the faint sounds of my children's laughter downstairs as David played with them. I just couldn't bring myself to be so lively.

An entire day had passed and I still hadn't fully read the email from work; all I  knew was they were asking me to return. Possibly for a meeting, either to officially fire me or to ease me back into surgery again.

I was seconds away from dozing off when someone shook my body. "Get up, sleeping beauty!" The covers were ripped off my body and I groaned. "I thought you'd be happy to see me!"

I lifted myself up groggily to find my brother staring down at me. Dawson was a 21-year-old tower, but that familiar goofy smirk on his face reminded me that he'd always be my baby brother.

I gave him a dazzling, yet sleepy, smile. "I am. You just got here?"

"I was downstairs for a bit with the babies, but yeah pretty much."

"Oh, so that's why they were laughing like banshees. I thought it was all David." I chuckled as he fell onto the bed like he owned it and faced me.

"I heard your life's gone to shit, Cas."

I pouted. "Yeah, that sums it up."

"David filled me in." He bit his lip, shaking his head. "You fucked up."

"He said you were coming to cheer me up. If you're gonna mock me, go back to college."

"And here I thought my mere presence would do the trick. Alright, fine. I guess I'll have to actually try to make you feel better."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Look, Casper. I know you." His voice sounded unusually serious, and I knew he was concerned for me. "You're retreating, and being on the other end of your silence isn't fun."

"I'm not silent!" I denied.

"You may say a few words here and there, sure, but... you're silent. In other words, you're shutting everyone out."

"Great, just what I need. Another therapist."

Dawson cracked a smile. "No. Just... another person who is worried about you. Like I said, I know you. Better than some shrink and better than David."

I gasped, snapping my head up and pointing accusingly at my brother. "He brought you here to figure me out, not make me feel better!"

Dawson grimaced. "I definitely could've worded that differently but—no! That's not why I'm here."

I lowered my hand, still holding up my walls.

"Cas, back when you had that falling incident, you didn't speak to me or anyone for months. And yeah, I was little, but I still felt helpless. All I know is, I would've given anything for you to be okay. That's how I feel now. If you aren't okay, something's got to give. I'm sorry, you can do the whole retreating thing with everybody else, but I won't let you do it to me. So!" He pulled himself upright and sat with legs crossed. "That being said, I need full details."

I stared at him for a long minute, but he wouldn't budge. I sighed dramatically. "It's nothing. I'm just having an existential crisis."

"Yes, you tend to have quite a few of those each year. Something's different this time. What is it?"

"I just..." I tossed my hands up and let them fall in exasperation. "What's the point, Dawson? Everything we do, what's the real point of it? I wish I could have those answers, you know? It's kinda cruel to be thrown into existence, only to find out nothing you do matters. You could become a surgeon and save someone who ends up dying the next day anyway! So yeah. That's where I'm at right now." I fell back onto the pillows.