Caressing Summer (Dolce Series #1) (COMPLETED)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

It felt like forever. I'm still in contact with my mom but I never talk to her unless it's just for random times, She tainted my perfect picture of her.

I don't want to think if what other people says is true. That my mom is a whore and a homewrecker. It's so hard to be called your mother like that but it's also her fault.

And I didn't know if she regretted anything or learned a lesson, but I hope she'll realize what chaos she have done. She lost her friend and her love. Putting it all together is not worth it.

She knows what are the consequences. But she still dive into the deep waters and now that she's drowning instead of floating she needs to learn how to love her self. And how to appreciate and value things that she thought are small and un-shining. No one's gonna help her this time. She'll drown if she want it, and she'll survive if she learned.

It's up to her now.

It's hard for me to be away and thrive for myself because no matter how many times I tried to I still think of my mother and the life I left in bataan.

All of the things that happened there are full of all kinds of emotions and feelings. My first time being in love happened their and my first time hurting also happened their. At a young age I realized a lot.

I learned things I never knew that I wished I have.

So many first experience happened their but all I can do right now is reminisce about it because I'm still not ready to go back to a place that hurt my heart.

I can't.

I'm still not ready to face my fears and weaknesses. But I'm working on it. It's just  everytime I try feels like I'm being taken back in the time I'm hurt and tired of everything.

It's been so many years. Eight years to be exact and it felt like yesterday, everything felt like yesterday. Every moment in that memory felt so close. From the night where I was almost raped, to the night of the phone call, to the day I went to the Canaveral mansion and when the day I left.

Parang kahapon lang, lahat ng iyon. Hindi parin matanggal sa isip ko lahat ng pangyayari. Gusto kong bumalik pero gusto ko din na makasigurado muna na handa na ko kapag dumating ang oras na iyon.

Ang oras kung saan babalikan ko lahat ng nakaraan. Hindi lang ang mga lugar pati din ang mga tao at ang mga pangyayari na hindi parin naaalis sa isip ko.

Tinanggap ako ni Tita Velena na sa mansion nuong araw na makabalik ako dito. I did not expect her to help me, pero sobrang laki parin ng pasasalamat ko dahil hindi niya ako pinabayaan. Na inalagaan niya ako at tinulungan sa mga nagdaang taon.

Mahirap man na isiping pinipilit niya lang ang sarili niya na tanggapin ako dahil anak ako sa labas ng asawa niya ay masaya parin ako dahil naalagaan ako sa mga oras na inaakala kong nag-iisa nalang ako.

Sa mga oras na nahihirapan ako ay nandiyan ang mga taong hindi ko inakalang tatanggapin ako at mamahalin ko.

Dati ay nagpapanggap lang akong gusto kong tumira sa mansion na ito na gusto kong makipag-kaibigan kila yuna at michael pero ang totoo ay ayaw ko sa kanila dahil ubod sila ng arte at yabang.

But I guess people do change. Bata palang ako non at tulad ng iba gusto ko din na tratuhin ako ng mabuti bago ko sila magustuhan but my step-siblibgs has always been harsh and brats. But now they look like new people.

Even dad my acts on him ate fake but I regret all of it. Because I realize na masuwerte panga ako dahil tinanggap ako ng Papa ko at pinaglaban niya pa kami ni sa tunay niyang pamilya.