The Restraint Love | ✔

#34: Will you not?

"So, it was for real! Sana knew you from before. As in, Papaji's doubt was not incorrect!" The realisation crossing Shehbaaz mind as he was peeping at the paper in my hand.

"Baaz... Let him read," Raghav sounded pissed as he was finding it hard to peek at those papers.

------ Diary

It wasn't easy for me to start a friendship, soon I talked to my Kullu. Alas! He hardly noticed me in that crowd. To be beside him, I used to attend that boring science practical; he used to volunteer help for juniors. From my chemistry teacher, I got to know about his intelligence. She won't get enough of praising him. And he deserved it all. 

I used to adore him staying far away, but it hurt that I was not beautiful enough to be noticed by him. But my attempt wasn't wasted, as his friend had noticed my presence around them.

"Hi!" I was amazed seeing him standing before me. Startled to response to a word, "I am Karthik." Extending his hand for a shake, I shook mine with his. "Why you keep on staring at my friend?" He gave a questioning look.

"I...?" Acting as if the innocent person on the planet, "I was roaming around the canteen." 

He chuckled, "you can't lie." The same words, I had heard from every single person in my life.

I shrugged my shoulder, "I am not even trying to." He shook his head, as I was adamant not to agree with him.

"So? Are you interested in my friend, Siddhart Shukla?" He questioned, a hint of pink shade touched my cheek. "Man! You're blushing," I looked away not believing the change in my behaviour. Never had I blushed before!

"What are you doing here, Sana?" Shefali walked towards us, gazing at Karthik with a serious look. "I was searching for you, come the classes are starting." With those words, she dragged me along with her. I was objecting her moves, but she had the least effect of it.

"Shefali!" I jerked my hand, as we were a step away from the classroom. "We don't have a class for an hour, why you dragged me from him?" Exasperated with her act, she was behaving insanely.

"Because I want you to stop your madness, your craze for Siddhart is only going to destroy your life. Can't you see, he is least interested in your presence. He doesn't notice you around, you're wasting your time." Repeating her same suggestion, I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Is your this lecture going to change my feeling towards him? Do you think so?" She shook her head, "its a challenge you will see from your own eyes. He is the perfect guy for me, and he is going to be my life partner. This is a promise of Sana... the one who won't ever back off from it." With determination, I walked out of the school. No in a mood to glimpse at anyone, I was pissed with my best friend. The one who was my pride! 

That was our last conversation. How could she speak those words? It wasn't a craze but my feeling towards him. I know it was no longer a passion but a stubbornness to have him. And for it I would go to any extent, that was a promise made to myself.

-------Diary

"Hmm... reading this indicates, Sid had not a single clue about it." Raghav sighed as he was worried about Gill's reaction to knowing about reality. 

"But..." objected Shehbaaz, "Karthik was aware, hadn't he conveyed about it to him." Gave me a suspicious gaze, I wasn't in a condition to explain him. As I needed some answers to my perplexed self, a route was to read the complete diary, I continued with it. 

------Diary

Karthik had been a huge help, he used to provide assistance in reaching those letters to Kullu. 

"What was his reaction?" Like daily occurrence, I asked as he handed the letter to Kullu.

"He loved it! Though he wasn't voicing it out but..." 

"But what?" We heard a stern voice from Shefali, she was standing in front of me with a folded hand near her waist. I gazed at her confused, what was she doing? "Are you talking about this letter?" She questioned raising it up, I was stunned finding it in her hand.

"How come it reach you?" I inquired, she was gazing at Karthik. He was puzzled, touching his bag repeatedly.

"Sana is asking something Karthik, are you going to answer? Or should I do the pleasure?" Questioned Shefali, Karthik wasn't uttering a word. "What will he answer? As he was lying about Siddhart to you, he provided with the letter. But Siddhart was least interested in it, so he gave you the wrong message of him liking it." Karthik raised his head, peeping at me. "He wasn't interested even taking it in his hand, your love doesn't mean a thing for him."

"Is she telling the truth?" I asked, as my eyes got moist. I was shattered, my building hope was broken. Karthik was playing with my feeling! Too heartbreaking to consider it the truth.

He stepped forward, getting guilty. "I never intended to hurt you," he was interrupted by Shefali. 

"But you had hurt her," he ignored her comment.

"I had to turn selfish, you could help him from recovering from his father's death. He is no longer the same Siddharth, I knew. I had seen many getting attracted towards him but with you, it was something else. I hadn't seen you forcing yourself on him, staring at him from a distance. A girl who is bold enough to initiate a battle with Gautam could simply go silent on seeing him. There was something real in your feeling, something genuine."

"Why did his father died?" I was concerned about knowing his past. I was interested in knowing his pain, Shefali jumped in between.

"Sana, stop being so good. Not all deserve it! Its high time, you need to turn selfish." My actions were pissing her, she was against me not holding myself a priority.

"Shefali! He wasn't in a condition..." 

"That doesn't give him the right to play with your feeling. And even if you're going to help him to heal, how are you going to do it? He is so aloof, none could move closer to him without his knowledge." She questioned, turning me to think about it.

"Karthik will help me, will you not?" I asked staring at him, he nodded his eyes staring at me with confusion.

TO BE CONTINUED.... 

I wrote it as it's turning a year for my first book on sidnaaz 'The Soulmate.' A year of knowing some of you here, that was my first book and definitely will have a close place in my heart. Thanks for tolerating me for one year, with my tantrums on updates. And still accepting me as a writer, I am not sure how the update was. Could manage however I could.

I will try to finish the book soon, as I am provided with the time. Thanks for always showing patience towards me. 

Happy one year journey!