Energy --- d.dixon

.1

I stare at the fire, eyes focused on the flames. I listen to the cracks and pops of the dry wood we had manage to find, as the sparks fly up into the air.

Sometimes, I think of how things in my life would have been if this had never happened. Would have I gotten out of my torturous life? Would have I had met all the people I had met now? Would I even still be alive? Thinking like that wouldn't change now so I often stopped as soon as I started but the thought still tugged in the back of my head.

The snapping of a branch makes me flinch, pulling my knife out of my boot and standing in front of the boy, who was now behind me. He looked like his father, which put a pinched my heart every time I looked at him, and I despised myself for it. His dark hair and his bright blue eyes looked just like him.

I see two figure step into the lit up area from the flames and allow myself to breath again, putting my arms down from their defensive position.

"You guys have to stop that" I sigh out, sitting back down on the log i had made my seat and watching as the two year old runs over to the two.

Keanu puts his hands up in mock defense while Dahlia picks up Tobias with a smirk. They both walk over and sit across from me.

"you're just super jumpy" Dahlia says to me, putting down Tobias making him run back into my arms and placing himself right on my lap, twisting his finger in the stray hairs falling from my ponytail

"and I have a right to be. We all should be, really" I state, looking up from between my eyelashes

"You know what, you're right but you could loosen up just a little" Dahlia tells me, pinching her fingers at me.

I look at her, her eyes twinkling with hope and survival. I open my mouth to say something but Keanu beats me to it

"They haven't found us yet" He says looking at Dahlia then to me

"That doesn't mean they wont" I argue back making him sigh and look at the fire

"You guys are the ones that said they were coming and to be aware of everything. So i am, i have to be. For him" I tell them, looking at my boy who smiles as he plays with my hair

"We have to be ready for when they do find us. There's a lot of them and they're armed, you said that" I speak looking back to the two

They nod without looking up at me or without speaking, I sigh and look back down at Tobias, I hated being like this but ever since they found me and told me what's coming, I've been tense. It's like every second is me waiting for deaths letter to come in my name. In all honesty, back then I would've accepted it but now I actually have something to live for, to protect. Tobias was the only thing that made me happy, the sun in my dark, dark world.

As my thinking fades to silence, I look down at the small body in my arms. Fast asleep, at peace. He was to good for this world, to good for me. I sigh and place him in his sleeping bag a few feet away from the fire. He wiggled around before tucking his thumb into his mouth and becoming still.

I take my holster off and lay beside him and look up at the stars. It's almost to hard to see them anymore, the air and the world so polluted, they're just faint shimmers. I close my eyes and take one more deep breath, slightly praying for something good to happen in this fucked up world.

~~~

I water down the kindle of the remaining fire we have,as I hear stirring of a sleeping bag. As I stomp out the blackened wood, I look over and see Keanu sitting up from the ground, waving his hair out of his face.

"Morning" I mumble quietly to him, as he stands and lets out as stretch with a small grunt. The bottom of his stomach showing the slightest as his shirt lifts with his arms. The Tattoo like runes showing.