Pink Walls

Bonus Chapter [2.3]

***

What I was about to do was undoubtedly stupid, absolutely crazy, deadly even… and the future version of me was most definitely going to regret it, but with every second I stayed hidden, with every bullet that was fired around me, the amount of pressure I felt increased.

I felt as though I was suffocating, trapped in this vacuum of right decisions on the brink of going wrong. The fact that all this was happening swaddled me like a blanket of darkness at nighttime, I couldn't take a breath without the weight bearing down on me.

This whole mission failed because of me. As illogical as it sounded, I couldn't block out the whispers in my mind and I couldn't stop listening.

I could have died just now, and that was probably what Sabrina had hoped would happen. She probably wanted to use my death to cover-up the fact that she was a terrible leader, and maybe if the Ciscos were in a good mood, they'd accept her anyway—money or not.

At this point though, I couldn't care any less about joining a gang.

I hadn't even crossed over the threshold of the Ciscos' Headquarters yet, but my life was already in danger of being snuffed out.

Obviously, the gangster lifestyle wasn't meant for me.

I wasn't cut out for violence. I had lived my whole life pampered and I had never denied it.

But... What would Frank say when he found out?

He was the only person I knew who had the confidence to place his hopes on me. Me: the unwanted son, the 'rich kid', the pro Equality brat. And I messed up.

Frank gave me a place to live and even gave me his precious knife, while all I had to do was this one thing to prove that I deserved it.

He pulled strings and called in so many favors just to get me here, throwing in the towel at the slightest sign of trouble would only make me look selfish and ungrateful.

Besides, I wasn't used to failing so badly.

You're doing it now, aren't you? a voice hissed in my mind.

I ignored it and shut my eyes, willing my heart to calm down.

This wasn't the time to doubt myself.

Even though I couldn't return the package to the Ciscos, I could still get the money. If I did that, this mission would still be a success, Sabrina and the others would be accepted into the gang, and maybe we would all end up being friends.

If they're still alive.

I pressed my knuckles to my forehead and reached for Frank's knife. When I wrapped my fingers around its hilt, I felt a burst of confidence.

Frank's lucky knife. Never missed a mark. Never lost a kill.

It boasted everything that could be cherished about a blade. I just wished some of its luck would rub off on me, even if it was just for a moment.

Slowly, I shifted forward to take a peek at the gunfight unfolding in front of me.

The coast was as clear as it could be with bullet casings and writhing bodies littered on the floor, and I was able to spot the man with the backpack full of money almost immediately.

Surprisingly, he was still alive.

I leaned my weight on my toes, the time it would take for me to get to him already calculated in my mind.

How I would actually get the bag from him was still an issue, but I'd consider it a small win if I got there without getting pumped full of bullets.