Pink Walls

Pivotal Moments✓

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he played with cuts and bruises

the blood from his trembling hands

dressing the ground in wine red

you said it was pretty

The moment I managed to get the words out, the bedroom was flooded with silence; not even the noisy crickets I shared the space with chirped their nighttime songs. It was as though the universe knew how pivotal this moment was. It couldn't be clearer how much knowing meant to me.

I watched the green in my father's eyes darken and the ends of his lips quirk upwards to form the ghost of a smile-one I had never seen him wear. Despite the grimness of the topic, I knew immediately that he was happy to be taken back to that day. The pain present in his glossy gaze was as clear for me to see as the joy pooling in his teary eyes. I saw just how much he loved Olive. I saw how much he missed her.

I saw so much. . .regret.

In those few seconds, I knew I had been replaced in his mind. Now he looked at me the way he would have looked at her. I knew this because he was no longer staring at me with pity. Instead, for those precious seconds I felt loved. And that emotion couldn't have been what he felt for me.

It was for her. It all was. I had enough self-awarness to not be hurt by that realization. Thoughts of the living could never surpass those of the long dead and I was nothing special to begin with.

"I don't know," he answered at last, blinking the tears away as casually as he could.

I didn't know what I had expected. A yes, probably. A no, maybe? But I certainly didn't expect that. Is he lying to protect me or does he truly not know? All this time and he never bothered finding out what happened to his daughter? I found it hard to believe.

"Only your mother knows that," he continued, the love long gone from his gaze. "She never told me what happened that day."

I shifted my attention to my hands, not wanting to stare into the eyes that resembled mine so much. . . Or was it the other way around?

Only if I could get mine to look as unfeeling. . . Maybe no one would dare laugh at how I looked when we locked gazes. Not one giggle would slip past their lips.

"Okay," I told him, listless. It didn't matter how badly curious I was, I couldn't push further than this. I couldn't force him to tell me. It was his choice whether or not he wanted to keep me in the dark.

"I can tell you something about your twin," he said, surprising me. I didn't expect him to make a compromise for my sake, little as it was. Usually, he would have let the conversation end there then gotten up to leave.

I suppose that process wasn't possible anymore now that he was already standing. He could leave at any moment. Nothing was keeping him here.

"You deserve to know," he took a quick glance at the room before his gaze settled on me me once again, leaving me wondering what he had been looking at. "After all, you both were so close."

"We were?" I asked, so quietly I could barely hear the squeak of my voice. That fact only made me feel worse. Why did I hurt someone I was close to? Hasn't having someone like that in my life been my wish since forever? Why did I ruin it with my own hands?

He nodded and walked to the photo Kayden had picked up not too long ago. The memory overlapped my vision and for an instant it was Kayden standing there instead of my father, smiling at me.