Pink Walls

Rainbow Opinions✓

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sometimes it is our shield

that walls us into destruction

a self-made cage we yield

to the darkness raging within us

"If you didn't tell me," I ran my thumb over my knuckles in an attempt to rub warmth into them, "would someone else have?"

"I doubt it," Kayden tugged at the scarf. "People like me have hopes for people like you, you know? Nobody would want to jeopardize that even if they hated your guts."

"I still don't understand, but I can try to." I knew that he wasn't talking about my privileges or his homelessness and I also believed him when he said we were in two different categories. I just had no knowledge to link back to his words.

My mind drew up complete blanks at the idea that people of both genders weren't valued in the same way and it baffled me. How did I know so little about the world I lived in? How come I've never asked any questions before?

"You were taught equality," Kayden said, as though he had seen the gears turning in my head. He looked right in my eyes. "If you find yourself standing next to a woman, you don't naturally think you are inferior. Do you know how empowering that is?"

I stared at the snow melting around my boots, not willing to let him see the emotion that I dealt with whenever I thought about Mother. She was a woman and I feared her, so no despite believing in equality, I barely thought about it or applied it to any situation I faced. Then again, she wasn't just a woman either, she was my mother.

Still, he was right. I had never thought that I was inferior to Arleen or any other person. I just felt inferior in general. . . sometimes.

"Is the reason no one likes me," I accidentally scratched myself. I sucked in a breath as I watched blood bead along the line I had cut across the base of my pinkie.

I looked up at Kayden and shoved my hands into my pockets. "Is the reason no one likes me because of the fact that I'm somehow meant to make things better but my appearance isn't-"

"Ask another question," Kayden cut me off then surprised me by wrapping his scarf around my shoulders. "You shouldn't rush yourself. The world's not going to change anytime soon. Digest it slowly."

That made sense. The answers to my questions wouldn't change anytime soon. If he told me everything now, I would probably get confused.

I am already confused. I decided to think about something else to get my mind off the lies I had been told all my life. His scarf for example.

It was one of the softest things I had ever felt. It smelt like coffee and oranges, just like my bedsheets did now. I managed to resist the urge to run my fingers through the patterns knitted into the grey wool but it was hard to keep a smile off my face.

"I'm not cold," I returned my attention to him. "Really."

"Well, I insist," Kayden said. "And don't say that I need it more than you do. I like the cold and I'm not taking the scarf back until you're safe in your toasty apartment."

"Okay," I dipped my head back and looked at the sky. I couldn't see any stars but I knew that they were out there, just like I knew that all the answers I wanted were out there. I just needed the patience to find them at whatever pace Kayden set for me. "Why don't you mind pink?"

"Alright, this is a question I can answer," Kayden nodded, looking awfully pleased with himself. "Imagine a room. The walls are white, the floor is white the ceiling is white."