There's a player in the guild named Shyaroni or Shy as most people called her including me. She was the "bae" of the guild. At that time, she was with Sgt_al or Al as I called him. I don't really know if Al and I were bros but I considered it that way. Like, there were things he said and did in the game that I just understood. It was either we both went through the same experience or almost similar. I don't know what it was.
Only Shy and me knows this. Al doesn't know. No one else knows. It might or might not change the way Al looks at me, but I have to tell this. It's like something I need to say or release. So, let's get to it.
It was around December, two days or so before Christmas Eve, when I logged in the game thinking that there was no one else online in the guild. Apparently, Shy was online. She started to tell me stuff, dark stuff. All I would say is one word about what we talked about: Suicide. Here was a 12 year old girl thinking about suicide. That was unexpected.
I, being someone who's been bullied, thought of suicide, and had a friend commit suicide before, knew that I had to help her out. I started telling her to just ignore the things those people said to her. That she wasn't what she they said she was. That there's people who cares if she just suddenly disappears from the face of the Earth.
At one point, she stopped me while I was still trying to cheer her up. She told me to not talk to her for about two days because I was doing something and doesn't understand what it was. And so, I did but I told her that I understand what was happening. I stopped talking in guild chat as soon as she said that. But around fifteen to thirty minutes, she told me that she needs to talk to me.
I visited her house already knowing what was going to happen. She was waiting there. She said that I don't understand what I was doing and I told her that I did. She then talked about a "habit." She said it was bad habit. She explained to me that she has a habit for falling for people who were nice to her and were helping her out, meaning that she was falling for me.
"I knew it," I told her. I knew because that's what happens sometimes when you're trying to help or cheer up someone. But, I didn't like her more than as a friend. Like, I'm 20 and she's 12. I was going to jail for that even if it is online. It's a crime. I also told her that I can't because she was with Al. I would not break the bro code. No, I would not do that to someone like Al. There was a part of him that I understood and as weird as a I may be in the game, he somewhat understood sometimes where I was coming from.
After that incident, Shy knew very well that a friend was all how I saw her. Nothing more, nothing less. We got bored and she couldn't sleep so we started playing Truth or Dare. She rarely picked Truth, which was a huge pain for me because I couldn't really think of dares especially in an online game. We picked on Bold, another player in the guild, to do our dares on like describing tying him up to a bed or pretend proposing to him.
Around 3 or 4 in the morning, she said she'd be right back. She never came back. She fell asleep. After that, I went to sleep. Shy and I never mentioned that event again. There was no reason for us to bring it up.
Welp.
