Ben's POV
Just last week Ryan and Bree had left for Pennsylvania, and today, Lauren and I were headed back to the states as well. I had persuaded her to come back to Seattle with me. I needed to come home and have a few days in an environment that I knew.
I had been thinking a lot about Alison lately, as her birthday was only a week away, and shortly after would be christmas. Lauren would be going home to Chicago and I'd be with my family, surely only thinking about how different it would be for another year without Ali.
As Lauren and I reached Seattle, we met up with my brother who drove us back to my apartment before leaving for his own. I took my things up to my room before returning back to the front hall where Lauren still stood.
"I don't know if you want to just stay in my room or you could stay in the spare room. It used to be Ali's, but it's cleaned out now." I rubbed the back of my neck nervously.
"Would you be okay if I just stayed in your room? I mean we've been sharing a room for the past month so." She looked around at the surroundings.
"That's fine. Uhm, it's the first door on the left upstairs. I'm going to run a few errands, get some food and stuff. Why don't you just stay here and relax, I won't be long." I threw my jacket back on before grabbing my own car keys.
"Okay, I'll try not to break anything." She smirked.
"You're funny. Be back in a bit." I said before placing a quick kiss on her forehead and heading back out the front door.
I had planned this trip before the plane had even left the UK. I needed to make this trip. I needed to go to the one place I could remember Alison in, I could almost feel her there with me.
As I pulled up to the location, I got out of the car, pulling my jacket closed to keep out the cold. The water looked dark, and the wind picked up as I neared the edge. I came to this place when I wanted to talk to Alison because I felt like she was actually listening. I felt like everything was okay when I was here.
I had filmed Otherside here, and she had run here with Stu the first time she lost a baby. The day after she had passed last year, I had made the trip here to say my goodbyes because I knew she'd be here. I knew she'd pick this place if any to be at when I needed her.
I sat down on a log that had washed up on the shore, staring out over the water, not sure of what to do or say. I had come because it was almost a year since she had passed, and it was almost her birthday as well. But now that I was here, I couldn't help but break down.
Just as I was about to get up and leave, thinking I couldn't handle it, I heard two sets of footsteps behind me.
"I thought I was the only one." The British accent caught me by surprise.
"Mike." I said as I turned around to take in the sight of him and Stu.
"Good to see you Ben." He sat down beside me, Stu on the other side of him.
"It's good to see you guys. What brings you here today of all days?" I wondered aloud.
"We were in town and decided to come by. Pay our respects while we're here." Stu answered.
"She would've loved to know you guys cared that much." I nodded, trying not to lose myself.
"I did love her for a period of time, and I will always love her as a friend. She was a beautiful individual, and I miss her more than anything." Mike ran a hand through his hair.
"We all do." Another familiar voice said from behind us.
"What're you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Bree?" I asked as I looked at Ryan with wonder.
"The doctors said she still had another week or so before she'll be ready, so she told me to do what I needed to do. She knew I wanted to come back home. All I've been thinking about this past week is Alison. I saw Kyle at the airport, and it just triggered so much anger and misery. I stopped by your apartment, but Lauren said you had gone out. I didn't know you'd be here." He sat down on the other side of me.
"Another week? So she'll have the baby pretty close to Alison's birthday." I stated as I took in the information.
"Yeah. Listen Ben, I want you to be there too. I know you're with Lauren now, and I'm with Bree and she wants me to be the fatherly figure, but it's only right that you're there. You're that baby's actual father. You deserve to be there just as much as I do." Ryan pleaded.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Of course. I've never been more sure of anything in my life. Well, I was, but that ended so." Ryan shuttered at the thought.
"Okay, I'll go back with you. I'll just have to tell Lauren. She can either stay here or go home to Chicago. I don't think Bree would appreciate it much if I invited Lauren to come." I stood from my spot on the log.
"She probably wouldn't mind." Ryan shrugged.
"I'm not taking the chance." I said, "I should get going. I need to grab some things from the store and get back to the apartment. Mike, Stu, it was nice seeing you both again. Hopefully we can catch up some time soon. Ryan, let me know when we're heading back to Bree. I'll see you all later." I said my goodbyes before heading for my car.
This trip hadn't exactly turned out the way I wanted it to, but I'd come back again. I'd spend a whole day here. Maybe writing a song, or just doing anything I could to remember Alison for even the shortest of times.
I would never get over the fact that my baby sister was gone, but I know she wouldn't want me to be living my life in misery and mourning over her, so I'd live my life the way she would want me to. To the fullest, and with the people that I love.
It would get better. It would get better for all of us that had suffered through the loss of Alison. Together we could pull through anything.
AN: I'm backkkkk! Hello everyone! I know this chapter is kind of short and there really isn't much that goes on, but I promise that there will be a new, way more exciting, amazing chapter coming up soon. I won't wait two months to update. Hopefully I'll have another chapter done by the weekend or over the weekend. I apologize for taking so long with these chapters, but I hope that you can be patient with me. There has been a lot going on, and I'm trying my best to update all of my stories more frequently. So I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I'll update again soon!
Bree xx
