dreamland | dreamnotfound

6

6 - where we stand ; just friends | potsu

"so, you and george?" sapnap asked expectantly, a smile dancing around his face. clay was currently playing minecraft with him, fucking around in a random world.

"me and george?" clay didn't look up from his screen, but his question, held alot of weight. as if asking sapnap to clarify what he meant.

"what's going on between you two?" the college student got to the point quickly, and clay finally looked up from his laptop.

"we're just friends." the blond replied dryly.

"you don't like him?" sapnap pressed on further.

"i don't even like guys, nick." clay snapped, "plus, friends play around all the time."

sapnap then stopped, staring at clay with an eyebrow raised.

"look, i'm sorry for snapping, but...i'm straight." clay murmured, "yeah, i'm straight." clay mumbled, as if to convince himself that his words were true.

"don't you think you should tell george where you guys stand?" sapnap stated, more than a question.

clay stopped, he really wanted to, but george was going through so much. and maybe he did like george a little, a little more than how he liked darryl or nick, but he was straight. there was nothing wrong with gay people, but he was straight. clay liked girls.

"even i'm not sure where we stand, sap." clay said, vulnerable. and sapnap felt bad for pressuring his friend but he was also friends with george - and he didn't want george to get hurt, he's too kind, and it's clear to see that he likes clay, everybody but clay could see it.

clay felt safe with george, and whenever he was with george - he felt complete, like he was home.

sapnap's features softened, everyone can see that they liked each other but clay wasn't ready. he deserves to take his time, but george also deserved someone who was sure of him - and nick didn't know if george was willing to wait.

-

"what's up between you and clay?" darryl asked george, they were currently inside the flowershop, sometimes george stayed in there after hours to relax, surrounded by the flowers - he felt home.

"we're just friends." george responded, "but, i like him." he smiled a little, he was a little hurt - he likes clay so much but they were nothing more, and george accepts that, but sometimes he yearns to be with clay - for he feels very happy when he's with his best friend.

"you do?" darryl asked, "does he know?"

"i don't know, i don't even know if he likes guys bad." george sighed, letting go of the spray bottle he sprayed his flowers with, sitting down on his chair and leaning back, "but i really, really like him."

if george sat beside clay and leaned on his shoulder, the latter would wrap his arms around him. it's hard to stay friends and not want more when you aren't separated by too much time and space, their boundaries are blurred and it's messing with george - he really wants to be something more but he's not sure if clay reciprocates.

clay was sweet and kind, fragile yet strong, and he was there for george in times of need. he helped george come out of his shell and get rid of his facade, allowing his light to shine brighter. clay just makes george better, and it's easy to see that george makes clay better too. with george, clay was relaxed, he wasn't that impulsive and restrains himself all for george. after the accident, after george started having those dreams because of a near death experience, clay learned how to be gentle - because george became timid, well, even more timid.

darryl and nick can easily see the shine within george's eyes whenever he was with clay, and they can also see the warmth clay exudes whenever he was with george. but there was something stopping them, hesitance perhaps.

"i know it's not rational, i know i shouldn't ask for more. because if i drive him away then he'll be gone, and i'd rather have him as a friend because of that. but, it really hurts." george mumbled, tears welling up in his eyes, "how can i want to stay friends when he makes me feel this way, bad?"

darryl rushed over from where he was at and kneeled down infront of george. "it's going to be okay, muffin." he consoled.

george silently wept, everything piled up and is hitting him all at once - he felt so alone, especially after his parents were gone, but clay was there for him, offering a different kind of support that darryl and nick couldn't, support with romantic undertones.

to be honest he liked clay even before that, but with clay being so affectionate with him - how could he stop himself from falling deeper? especially with those stupid dreams, with george falling inlove with a king that looks like his best friend, well it might be but even if they loved each other in that lifetime, what makes him so sure that clay still loves him the same?

"if clay finds out, and he doesn't feel the same, i know he won't end the friendship because of that." darryl placed a hand on george's shoulder, circling his thumb around the skin, "even if clay doesn't like you romantically, he still loves you."

now, george isn't crying about clay not reciprocating, he's terrified of the possibility that clay might drop him if he slips and accidentally makes his feelings known. he knows darryl is right, clay isn't like that, but his conscience and his rationality is so blurred by his sadness that logic is nothing against his bad thoughts.

why would clay like him back anyway? even if he possibly liked guys, what's there to like about him? he's just a best friend with some baggage and a flowershop.

george wiped his tears from his puffy eyes, he looked at darryl and smiled, silently thanking him for his company.

"sorry for being all emotional." george let out a watery laugh, "clay and i are just friends...just friends and nothing more."

george thinks to himself that they'll never be more than that, but, deep down, he hopes it's not true.