dreamland | dreamnotfound

8

8 - distract me ; from me, the moon | lav

it didn't take long for george to pretend that dream's words were for him, when in reality it was for the other george - the one in his past life, were those words for him? technically, yes. however, is clay the one saying those words? he doesn't know. but it fills the gaping hole in his chest, george knows it's not healthy, and that he really shouldn't, but he does anyway. he smiles whenever he wakes up, and doesn't ignore the fuzzy feelings within him, he wants what his past self had - he wanted dream, well, he wanted clay.

george didn't plan on doing anything today, he felt tired and drained, and his friends - niki, along with her best friend, minx, said that she can take over the flowershop for as long as he needs to take a break. he really appreciated those girls, and so he thanked them by baking them a delicious blueberry pie. and now, george is lounging around, drinking tea while fiddling with his phone on the couch, he really didn't expect any company today, until the doorbell rang. he stood up from his place and walked up to the door, looking through the peephole - it was clay.

he then rushed to the bathroom and fixed his disheveled state, shouting out a 'wait!' before walking up to the door again, opening it this time.

"oh, clay! i didn't expect you to come over." george said, genuinely surprised.

"well, i was going to bring chinese takeout over at the flowershop since you don't usually take breaks, and i heard from niki that you didn't feel well today, so i decided to pay you a small visit!" clay replied, holding up plastic bags of chinese takeout.

"aw, thank you! come in, let's hang out for awhile." george smiled, opening the door wider and stepping aside. he didn't want clay over right now because it hurts him even more but at the same time he wants clay over so he can forget about the overthinking he's been doing.

clay set the food down on the small, living room table. aware that they'd eat there instead of the dining room. george excused himself and made clay a cup of tea.

they sat down on the couch and talked for a bit, settling down on the couch. george laughed at clay's jokes and clay smiled at the way george's eyes crinkled whenever he laughed. but, george desperately pushed the butterflies in his stomach away, and clay noticed the change in his expression.

"what's wrong? how're you feeling?" clay asked.

"i don't know, i just feel lethargic i guess. i'm not physically sick, i just don't feel well emotionally." george said, looking down at his almost empty tea cup, swirling the leaves around.

"well, do you want to talk about it?" clay then asked again, hoping george will open up and make himself feel better and lighter.

"no, i don't think so. i don't know, i myself don't understand it yet so i don't think i have much to say." george responded, looking up at clay. that was a lie, george understood what he felt, he knew why he was sad and tired. and it was because of the boy sitting opposite him.

"how about we binge watch movies? a movie night, just you and i." clay hummed, and george nodded, a smile back on his face.

they opened up netflix and just picked random movies to watch, they didn't notice time go by, and they also didn't notice how close they've moved to each other - george was now tucked underneath clay's arm, snuggling with him, they had a huge blanket wrapped around their shoulders as george laid his head on clay's chest, and clay then rested his cheek on george's hair, he was also playing with george's fingers, to say that george didn't mind it was a lie, he felt flustered - cuddling with his crush and his crush almost holding his hand, he was gonna explode, but he just sat there comfortably and focused his eyes on the movie playing in front of them. george didn't even know what movie it was, too distracted by clay.

before they were tangled together, they did make some popcorn, and now clay is eating the popcorn as well as feeding george pieces of popcorn - which george happily accepts.

they might as well be one person because of how close they were.

when the third movie ended, george stood up and went to the bathroom to pee and clay stayed on the couch, looking at memes on his phone.

"okay, i'm back." george announced, sitting back down on the couch, reclaiming his place underneath clay's arm, clay then looked at him - observing his doe eyes and plump lips. "what, do i have something on my face?"

"gogy pretty." clay laughed and george laughed along with him.

"you're such an idiot." george chuckled, staring back at clay, admiring his features.

clay leaned down and captured george's lips in a kiss, and george was frozen, he then slowly melted into it, kissing clay back. this is what he craved, he craved clay, he craved clay's love and affection.

when george was out of breath, he pulled back, and stared at clay in the eyes. he felt like he was floating, and clay's words made him feel like he was on the moon.

"i can't live without you." clay murmured.

"i love you." george slipped, he hasn't realised it yet as he was still in his trance.

something shifted within clay's eyes, realisation. he hastily stood up.

"i have to go." he said in a firm voice, exiting out of george's house, and george couldn't do anything but allow the tears to fall down his face. he fucked up, of course he did. george scared clay away, he thought that maybe because they loved each other in a previous life that they'd still be meant to be together in this one. he wailed and sobbed, wrapping the blanket around himself tighter and tighter, george couldn't breathe, he could still taste clay's lips on his.

george shakily picked his phone up, dialing a number.

"hey muffin, what's up?" darryl's voice came through the phone.

"b-bad, can you p-please come over?" george tried to speak clearly, but his chest heaved and he was cut off by a sob, "can't b-breathe."

"okay muffin i'm on my way, you think you can stay on the phone with me?" darryl responded, acting fast. george muttered a yes, listening to darryl ramble on and on about his day, grounding him. george was independent, but now, he kind of misses his mother's comfort and his father's hugs.

--

clay sat in his car, after listening to george's cries he rushed to his car and drove off. he didn't know what the fuck he was thinking, all he knew was he wanted to kiss george. but he was straight, he was sure he was. he liked girls and not boys.

he wants to drive back and comfort george, to tell him he loved him too. he can't help but imagine a life with george, happily married together. but what will phil think? what will his siblings think? he doesn't even know if they're fine with this kind of stuff.

clay hyperventilated as he came into a realization, he loved george, he liked boys. but he had already fucked up, he can't drive back. he can't tell phil, phil and his siblings are all he has left. clay couldn't help but cry, his identity crisis hitting him all at once.

all he can do was cry, while listening to the radio.

will your heart ever forgive my skin?