dreamland | dreamnotfound

13

13 - dinner ; fools | nathan & mercury

after that night, george and clay went back to normal, but there was an unspoken tension between them - they've yet to talk about where they stand and what they are specifically, george wants to, but in fear of making clay uncomfortable - he doesn't. he holds his tongue because he doesn't want to make his best friend pressured to address things. george was very comfortable, comfortable with himself and his sexuality, and he can see that clay wasn't, he'd gladly wait for the blond, whether it would take a day, a week, a month, a year, an eternity or another lifetime - he'd still be there for clay, as a friend and more.

clay, however, wants to talk to george. he wants to officially make george his, but he doesn't know how phil will react, how his siblings will react - they're the only family he has left, and he can't risk losing them. but he really wants to hold george's hands, to pepper his face with kisses, to tell him how much the brit meant to him, but his fear was stopping him. clay had so much to lose, he can lose george and ruin the friendship, he can lose his family, and he can lose sapnap and darryl by putting a wrench between their friendship.

thanksgiving was coming up, and darryl wants to hold a thanksgiving dinner right before actual thanksgiving, since clay, sapnap, darryl and zak will come back to their families, george had no one, and of course they want george to feel loved so they've planned the dinner. george appreciated the gesture, he truly felt the love from his friends, and he'd never trade them for the world. george will gladly swallow his troubles in order to enjoy his thanksgiving dinner with his friends, he will gladly keep quiet about his and clay's troubles.

george took over the flowershop once again, things were a little okay, okay enough to keep himself stable. after all, he missed interacting with frequent customers and new ones as well. the dreams he had were still on his mind, no matter how much he tried to forget about them, it was stuck in his mind - he didn't want the constant reminder that he and dream didn't have a happy ending, and a happy ending in this lifetime is also unlikely.

clay deserves to take his time, but making george hide once again would be very unfair.

you can't step in the same river twice, but when the silence overtakes the surroundings, it keeps telling george the same old stories about he and dream, about the car crash, it keeps repeating the tale so much that sometimes george found ink from faded photographs and love letters staining his lips, fill his stomach and run through his throat. he was drowning in ink and no matter how much he tried to get those bad memories out of his head, it has stained his heart, soul and mind.

everything was fine, everything was perfect. george doesn't want to depend on clay to the point where he can't say his own name and doesn't know what to do without him. george doesn't have hope, this might not end well, and george would love to think that it won't matter, but it will. clay means so much to him, and as much as he didn't like to admit it - he slept well when the blond was beside him.