Fat Boy // styles [Disorder prequel]

eight

"It's not you, but this world you should hate. You're as beautiful as you were yesterday."

- "Scars" by SayWeCanFly

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January 1, 2009

I stood on a scale today, 137.5. It said a number that was disgusting no matter how I looked at it, it was absolutely repulsive. I stood in front of the mirror without anything but my undergarments and I cringed at the sight of my rounded stomach and flabby arms. I was everything people called me; I was disgusting.

Zayn stopped by today and we played some FIFA on my TV. Halfway through a game he paused it, though, and turned to look at me. He asked me if I was alright, and I responded by asking why he needed to ask. He told me that I didn't do my move. (Pass to the mid-fielders and have my forwards run up just far enough so that they weren't off-sides; I would then make a hard pass to the left forward, pass to middle - scarily close to urge the goalie forward to grab it - and have the center mid-fielder pass to my right fielder to make a goal.) It was almost always a full-proof plan, but today I didn't even try to initiate it.

I told him I was fine, of course. He had enough to worry about.

Love Always,

Harry Styles

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hello, you are 100% beautiful inside and out.

- hannah