Lana Del Rey is playing candy crush while she forces you to dance in a provocative furry dragon onesie. u adjust the onesie to make it more comfortable but she SMACKS you over the head with a hot iron rod. "no!" she squeals "ur underwear is supposed to be stuck in ur ass"
"but pls madame i am so stinky and fragile. i resemble an alt tiktok girl." you sob miserably. ur life has no meaning. "NO peasant" lana kamala screeches. "now wear these lubricated gloves" u shudder in agony as u wear the slimy vetements ....
"u suck. dance bettr whoore." she says as she tries to fit a lego figure of obama up her ass. but you realize something. This is not Lana. This is some slut pretending to be ur lover!!!!!!
so you use your moisturized hands to grab a handful of baby powder and throw it in her face. as she coughs violently, u take advantage of the grizzly beast's immobilised state and shove her into the oven. as u finish baking her at 500 degrees celsius, her true form is revealed.
it is Kamala Harris.
"your skin so golden brown!" you yell at the hawaiian vice president. you break the window with your severed limb as she tries to run after u but slips on your defecation (pee and poo)
YOU ARE READING
Lana Del Rey x Reader
Roman d'amourIn honour of the release of Norman Fucking Rockwell, go on the adventure of a lifetime with your favourite singer.
