Irkens Cant Love (Zim x reader)

29.5. Defective

Short chapter

Warning for: slight angst

Third person pov

The underground base was absorbed in absolute darkness and a small Irken remained seated at his console in silence.

His face was contorted into one of thought and confusion as he continued to search his thoughts.

The only light emitted in the room was the soft blue glow from the large monitor and it hit his face as if to interrogate him.

Really, it was all in his head. It was all just his own panic absorbing him.

It didnt make the questioning any less real, however. The only difference was who was interrogating him.

'Why am I thinking about this?' He would silently ask himself, slowly pulling his knees to his chest.

He let go again, allowing his legs to dangle over the edge of the chair once more, before he buried his face in his hands. He was exhausted.

Taks invasion was not the reason. Hed never be tired over something as measly as another irkens plan for revenge. He was used to those.

It was what Tak said. What he regretted. What it left him to deal with mentally afterwards.

He was tired of feeling his brain being clogged up by draining thoughts. By things he never openly acknowledged before.

And now, as if he couldnt feel more useless. He realised that he wanted   Y/n with him more than ever.

That girl. Whatever charm she was using had certainly left the alien completely frenzied. Her presence was possibly the only thing in the known universe that could truly make him relax upon sight. Just knowing she was there was of great comfort.

Perhaps it was the promise of support she always brought with her. No matter what, he could always rely on her to be there. Even when he told her not to be.

Perhaps it was because she confessed to him. Knowing her feelings for him was just an armour for her loyalty to him.

And these thoughts had crossed his mind multiple times. But no matter how many excuses he made for himself, none of them felt correct.

So what was correct?

What was the right term for these feelings?

'Defective'

That word. That horrible, disgusting word was repeating itself as he tried to convince himself of what he thought of his friend.

'Defect'

It spoke, causing the irken to take a tight grip of the chairs arms only squeezing tighter as the thoughts plagued his mind even more.

"....stop..." Zim uttered, muttering the word desperately.

His eyes clenched tight, attempting to remove the thoughts he had. His hands slowly moving to his head, gripping it to try and mute the word that continued to repeat itself the more he thought about her.

'Defective'

'Defect'

They repeated, circling to attack Zims thoughts like a pack of wolves on a rabbits scent.

His breathing became heavy and his chest started feeling tight...

Why were these thoughts suddenly coming to him?

And, of course.

Why was she suddenly making them present?