NO LIGHT. ✹ E.W.

xiv.

Santa Barbara is a lovely place, beautiful even. Ellie knows you'd have loved it there; you'd have fawned over the colorful plants and the beach side. It's been a journey, a helluva one to make alone but she did it. She got there, she got through miles alone and hordes of infected to her destination. And now it all comes down to the final part; the missing piece to settle the debt. The last part of the the promise.

𝖨̶'̶𝗆̶ ̶𝗀̶𝗈̶𝗇̶𝗇̶𝖺̶ ̶𝖿̶𝗂̶𝗇̶𝖽̶,̶ ̶𝖺̶𝗇̶𝖽̶ ̶𝖨̶'̶𝗆̶ ̶𝗀̶𝗈̶𝗇̶𝗇̶𝖺̶ ̶𝗄̶𝗂̶𝗅̶𝗅̶,̶ ̶𝖾̶𝗏̶𝖾̶𝗋̶𝗒̶ ̶𝗅̶𝖺̶𝗌̶𝗍̶ ̶𝗈̶𝗇̶𝖾̶ ̶𝗈̶𝖿̶ ̶𝗍̶𝗁̶𝖾̶𝗆̶.̶ ̶

Abby.

She's not sure what time it is, she's not even sure if she's properly alive anymore–it doesn't feel like it. The injury on her abdomen has lost her a lot of blood, too much of it. But she has to finish it. She has to finish everything for Joel–that's what she's convinced herself, anyway–she has to make it right. Ellie Williams has to kill Abby once and for all. She has to avenge Joel Miller. This has to be the way she puts it all behind her, it has to be the conclusion. She needs one; she desperately craves a resolution for everything that they went through, everything she's done.

Everyone she's lost.

The obsession of it all has cracked and fragmented Ellie's tired mind and soul. Torn her out of who she was before and carved her into something else. Someone unrecognizable. What the fuck is she doing here?

The sky twists into a foggy murmur of dark smoke and flames when she grows closer to the beach. Those people–the Rattlers–they're getting what they deserve and now so will Abby. Ellie knows it, this is where it ends. This final encounter puts everything to rest and she can go back home. She can see your face again, your eyes, your nose and your soft smiles–even if it's just from afar.

The thought of you, and Joel, push her on further. Grunts escape her whenever the pain in her side pulses through her system, it's too much. This is too much but she's so close now. It's almost over.

She doesn't expect to find Abby so broken down. So frail and unlike the woman she'd seen kill Joel; the boy, she notices, appears to be in the same condition. She's not sure why she follows her to the beach, she could have just done it then and gotten it over with. It didn't need to drag out this long.

Ellie has the woman where she wants her, her final breaths rest in the control of her fingertips. She can finish it, she can let the water engulf Abby's lungs and watch her body fall slack–just like Joel's did. But she can't do it. She just can't. After everything, after all the slaughters and the pain, she can't do it. A glimmer of the man she'd never gotten the chance to forgive flickers through her mind for a second–just a small, harmless second–and she can't.

The water laps at her legs, spills over her thighs and soaks into the blood stained tank top covering her upper body. A mess of ruby blood twists and curves into the water, two of her fingers missing. Choked sobs muffle through her throat, "go. Just take him." The woman listens, she leaves Ellie in the water.

Alone.

𖠳

It's been over a month since she left you. Over a month since you'd last seen Ellie Williams in the flesh and known she was alive. Questions buzzed in your head constantly on her whereabouts, wondering if the girl was okay or if she was alone somewhere dying. You could only hope she was safe.

It was hard, trying to make yourself hate her for leaving you alone to resume her revenge quest. Even in the depth of the night when you'd cried into the pillow she slept on, the hush hours of the morning when Dean pulled you out of the home to help him with assignments–mostly to distract you–you couldn't help but worry about her. You couldn't help but miss her wherever she was.

Days passed, then weeks, and with every passing one you began isolating yourself from other people. The fear of being left behind by anyone else is too hard to bear. Dina and Dean were the only two who could consistently be seen with you around Jackson, most everyone else had taken too much pity on you to bother you. Maria, bless her soul, offered to find you a different place to stay but you couldn't just abandon Joel's house.

It held too much sentiment for you to just leave.

You lower yourself to the ground with a low grunt, brushing dust away from the chipped vase resting in front of the grave you've come to see. A few flowers drop inside the object, freshly pulled from one of the wild flower patches outside the walls of the community.

"Hey Joel," you speak, rubbing your arms steadily to keep them from shaking. A cool breeze swirls over the fabric of your sweater, chilling your skin with goosebumps. "Just thought I would stop by for a visit, Ellie's still not home yet."

It almost brings tears to your eyes at the thought of her being alone, her biggest fear, and you bury your face in your palms. You'd made it a habit to visit Joel's grave on a weekly basis, make sure his grave was properly tended and such. Each time you did, it reminded you of your loss of her, the reason why, and the person behind it all. But you were trying your hardest to get over it, to get past everything that had happened. You needed to prepare yourself for that sliver of a chance that Ellie wouldn't come back.

And if she did, would you be able to forgive her? Could you truly put it all behind you and just live? A few months ago, you could have, you were, but now you're not so sure. She left you, she wasn't even planning to tell you about it either; you would have found out via a damned note. A note. After everything you'd been through together.

A silent breeze flutters through the sky once more sending scattered little leaves your way, it's almost time for you to go back to the hydroelectric dam–another voluntary job you'd offered to help with in order to distract yourself from missing her. It was better than living in that house every single day or going on the same routes you'd been on so many times before with her. Anything was better than the feeling you felt after she left you behind.

A presence interrupts the silence of the graveyard as their footsteps draw closer to you. When they're close enough the figure kneels next to you and brushes a patch of dust away from the tombstone. "Hey," Dean greets you, the most loyal friend you could have asked for. Not once had he given up on you after your return from Seattle–he had lectured you for days for not telling him you were leaving–and he certainly wouldn't be abandoning you now. "Ready to get going?"

You push yourself up to stand and fall into a stride next to him. "What's on the list today?" You ask him, cracking a small grin at the man you called your best friend. "Last week it was clean the shit out of the water, what's next? Clean the water?"

Dean laughs much too loudly for a graveyard but he quickly lowers it to a chuckle. "I think we're supposed to help with the inside repairs today."

And just as the two of you set out to the dam, another survivor brings herself to the gates. Three fingers wave at the woman keeping watch, a nervousness washing over her system to see you again.

To tell you she couldn't do it.

᯽ ݁ 

❛ writing ellie's portion of this took me out. i'm replaying part one and two tonight and tomorrow and god i'm not ready.

࿔ rhae ♡