The Balotelli-Bale Series Book #3: The Italian Belle

Chapter 27: Stood Up

Marianna's POV
After examining Nicko thoroughly during his bath, I was finally content that he wasn't harmed in any way. I pressed my lips on his forehead. "I'm sorry figlio mio. I shouldn't have left you with her. Mommy has been so worked up looking for you. I know I have also been slicing you out of my life but no more! It's you and me forever kiddo. By the way, I met a man. He was here tonight."

It's nursing time. We are lying on the bed. He's sucking away mercilessly as some sort of revenge for not being nursed all day. He must be hungry. He does not like milk in a bottle. Once he threw a tantrum and hit me with the bottle. Now it's just baby food and mama's boobs. Mostly mama's boobs.

"He's English. English people are from England. I love his accent. I love his deep voice. I love how handsome he is." Nicko paused. He stared at me. "But not like you. You are in a league of your own."

He carried on. I straightened the perfect blond hair. When he was born, he was really blond! Like golden hair. As he is growing older, he is becoming more of a dirty blond. It's okay because Nate isn't blond. So I wonder whose genes those are.

"Mama likes him a lot. His name is Wayne Bellingerre. He has a butler! He has a Rolls Royce and his family are the kind with a crest. By the way, he's nice. He wanted me to go to his hotel room tonight. Do you think that's okay sweetheart?"

What am I doing? I'm talking to a baby. It has been like this since I'm all alone. If I don't talk to Nicko it may as well be the walls. Whether he understands me or not, I feel better after speaking my thoughts out loud. "I don't think he just wants to have tea and talk all night. One lesson I have learned and it's just my opinion is when a man asks you to join him in his personal space, he wants something. Do you know where you came from? Your dad asked me to join him in his tent. Fifteen minutes he said. Fifteen minutes and if you don't like it you can leave. I liked it baby boy. That's why you're here. I liked it and I stayed. He gave you to me and I'm happy I had you Nicko. I apologise for the thoughts of getting rid of you. I hope you didn't hear them. Mama was not in a good place then. Your daddy was gone. Your grandfather had been whacked. And i don't know your grandmother. Even so, I wanted distance between you and them. If Nate was around I would have turned to him. Nate is your father honey, in case you're wondering. Nathaniel Alexander Bale. But your name is Nickolas Balotelli. Someday you'll ask me where he is. I hope that day doesn't come so that I don't have to explain. I hope he finds out but I'm also terrified that things will be messy. I want to tell Wayne about you Nicko. I want to tell him I'm a mommy with a baby but I'm so scared he won't want me anymore. You don't know this but mommy is really insecure. I used to turn heads. Every man wanted my attention. Now I'm even fighting to keep Wayne interested. If he knows about you he may walk away. I'm not saying it's your fault but it seems men don't like women with babies. It does not help that you gave me stretch marks and a tummy.  It hasn't quite gone back." I grabbed part of it with my hand. "I used to kill it in swim suits! Bikinis were a no sweat. Now I can't even think of myself in a bikini. And of course i have put on weight. My boobs are like two cups bigger thanks to you. And I can't fit in my old jeans. When they do, I have to use a rubber band to connect the button hole and the button. If that pops it hits mommy in her big tummy."

The face I made seemed to please him into a giggle. "Ay you evil baby! You like to hear that I got hurt, huh?" I tickled him. "But let's not blame you. Let's blame Nate for everything even the low water pressure."

He was done breastfeeding when he got into a crawling position. Nicko can't walk just yet. He stands but he can't walk. My poor little man can't walk or talk. Sometimes it worries me.

"Bed time?"

"Mama!" He clapped his hands.

I broke into an applause! His first word! "Mama?"