Can I have another dance?

Chapter 38 : My End And My Beginning

Kasity :

I walk silently towards my car, I step in and focus on my phone... 25 missed calls from Vanessa, some other missed calls from other people... No, I'm not going to call anybody back.

I find my keys and turn my car on...

The weather was good, pretty ironic, since the sun was burning but I obviously couldn't feel it. I was cold, pale, had black circles...

•What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawin' me in, and you kickin' me out
You've got my head spinnin', no kiddin'
I can't pin you down

What's going on in that beautiful mind?
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me
But I'll be alright•

But I was mostly concerned of the fact that I wasn't able to feel... It was like my heart was sinking in pain, but I couldn't get any emotions out...

I was driving, my eyes on the road, but my mind elsewhere... I felt empty.

•My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind•

I reach my destination and park the car... Memories in this car. I have to burn it before these memories consume me... as if they won't consume me anyway...

I step out of my car in my total black suit, black heels...

After taking some steps towards the place I headed for, I stopped...

I stopped and thought to myself "What am I doing here when I can't handle this?".

I was late, in purpose... I did not want to face the others... Of course, meeting people was out of my list right now. I didn't want to see anybody, because everybody remembered me things... Things that, despite of my strong personality, I couldn't handle...

I took a few steps forward, slowing down at each step, as if I didn't want to face the truth... But how can you deny the truth, when it's the first thing your mind decides to torture you with, every single morning?

I close my eyes when I realize I'm at the place I was supposed to be.

I open them slightly...

'Areson Kingstone' was written there...

•'Cause all of me loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginnin'
Even when I lose, I'm winnin'•

Everybody knew him as Areson Kingstone, the mafia businessman... the tough, bossy, arrogant Areson Kingstone...But the Areson I knew...The Areson I knew was much more.

My eyes start to tear up... How was this even possible? I was sure that I had no tears left, but there I was, tears running down my cheeks illuminated by the cold -to me- sun rays...

Plenty of tears, lack of emotion.

I close my eyes...

"Ah Areson" I manage to whisper, feeling pain on my throat... A sore throat, since that day I couldn't hold back my screams of pain, despair and therefore, realisation...