you know the girls that got serenaded and handed roses in the nobody gotta know music video? yeah, well... that's you.
what happens when you meet back up with a boy you never thought you'd see again? and does friendship stand a chance when love is i...
after that day with zach, my every thought has been about him. while i work i notice myself constantly checking to see if it's him walking in. when i lay down to sleep he's the last thing i think of, and the first i think of when i wake up. i've been so consumed by zach i've pushed corbyn to the far side of my mind. i've text him a few times, he even came into work once and we talked for awhile... but i can't help the way i feel about zach.
i liked corbyn, i really did. but after hanging out with zach, i'm not sure i could see myself with corbyn anymore. zach and i have only hung out now about 3 times, but i feel completely and utterly giddy with joy evertime i even see his name light up on my phone.
with this being new territory to me, i decided i needed to figure out for sure if there could ever be anything between corbyn and me. so i invited him over today to hang out, since i'm off... and hopefully i'll get some clarity. i heard my doorbell at exactly 2, corbyn's certainly punctual if nothing else, and i let him in. we sat down on the coach and just started talking for awhile until we decided to watch some netflix.
corbyn wanted to watch a movie but i insisted we watch a tv show instead, ending with me convincing corbyn to watch julie and the phantoms with me. we were about 4 episodes in when i felt him scooting closer to me. i didn't feel the draw to be close to him like i did with zach, but i pushed that aside telling myself i'd fully give him a chance before i decided anything. so i let him scoot closer, and when he was right next to me i even laid my head on his shoulder.
we sat there watching the rest of the series until my eyes started getting heavy. i looked down at my phone to see it was almost 10:00. i stretched, and seeing how tired i was corbyn said it was probably time he headed home. i walked with him to the door and we stepped outside to talk before he left.
"i had a lot of fun today, it was good seeing you again" he said with a smile. "yeah it was, glad i could get you hooked on julie and the phantoms" i said with a tired laugh. "yes, definitely thank you for that... never would've watched it without you" he said laughing again.
he looked me deep in the eyes, like he had that first night, and i knew it was coming. i felt him start to lean in, and my first reaction was that it still didn't feel right... that i shouldn't kiss him. but i had to know if there was ever could be something between us, so i leaned in, connecting our lips. corbyn put one hand on my cheek and the other around my back, pulling me into the kiss.
had this been anyone else, zach more specifically, i would've enjoyed that. i know knew there could never be anything between us. at first i thought i was attracted to corbyn, but now i see we could only ever be just friends. i just didn't get that feeling with him that i did with zach, and it was wrong of me to get his hopes up or lead him on when i knew it would never lead anywhere. so i pulled away from the kiss before it got any deeper, and i told him goodnight. i'd have to tell him i didn't feel anything between us, but i was too tired tonight. so he walked back to his car with a big smile on his face, as i went to bed dreading the next conversation we'll have. ___________________________________
