Rise or Crumble (Pete Davidson AU)

5.

They're called The Reckless Youth, I told you three times, have you even clicked on any of the links I've sent you?" I giggled over the phone, my feet were pressed up onto the wall of the bunk, the white paint on my nails started to chip.

Harley was on the other end. After that moment with Pete I needed to call him. I didn't even know why, my feelings for him where confusing but it was becoming abundantly clear that I liked being away from home. Hearing his voice definitely put a smile on my face, that was about it.

"Of course I did I keep forgetting which band is which. They're all really good though." He was lying, Harley and my other before friends didn't listen to Punk music. Well, that wasn't exactly true, my perfect boyfriend listened to whatever I wanted without complaint. "You sound happy baby, you haven't laughed like that in a long time. I'm really glad this trip is helping, even though I hate that we're apart."

Colson's voice rang through the back of my mind, reminding me that I was only going to hurt him. Was it only because of our past and what we been through that I stayed with Harley? Could I even get back to the old Cosette, would I even want to?

"We do work a lot, surprisingly, and I think it's good for me. The more I dwell on things the more I make things worse. There isn't ever too much focus on me, that's pretty nice too." For some reason I didn't mention any of the times when things had to be focused on me. In case he got upset that I didn't call him for comfort, or whatever. It was better for him to think I was preoccupied.

"I can't wait for you to stop in Chicago, or come home in general, any changes you need made I'll make it happen. Anything to hear that laugh again–" as Harley rambled on the curtain to my bunk yanked open, revealing Rook who watched me quietly, knowing I was on the phone but still wanting my attention. I rolled my eyes with a smile at his child like actions but beckoned him in with a flick of my head anyway. "Can you grab my nail polish while you're at it?" Pointing toward the shelves near my feet where a lone white polish stood, it was the only color I cared to use.

Rooked nodded, having to drop down on his knees to crawl onto my bed because it was so close to the ground. "Who's that?" Harley questioned.

"It's Rookie, the drummer, he's painting my nails right now," I laughed again. To be fair he wasn't doing a bad job even with the awkward angle my feet were on still resting against the wall.

Harley was quiet after that so much to the point I had to double check he was still there. The tone of his voice changed a fraction, but I picked up on it. "How many guys are on the bus with you?"

"Five if you count the driver. Careful, you sound kind of jealous," my voice was teasing, hoping to avoid an argument.

Another pause, but this time when he spoke again, it was slow, as if trying to choose his words carefully. "Can you blame me for being anxious? Our relationship wasn't exactly in the best place when you left. It's not that I don't trust you, I just wish you opened up to me more, especially now that all I get is a phone call every few days."

And just like that my mood was ruined. As always it was nobody's fault but mine. Here I was talking and laughing with my boyfriend, something I knew that was being neglected. But still more was needed. I wasn't sure if I had more to give.

"Shit. Sorry Harley, I need to go, the manager needs me. We'll definitely pick this up later, yeah?" Rook looked back at me with an eyebrow raised and I did my best to act like I didn't notice.

The response wasn't a happy one, all Harley said was, "yeah okay, I love you."  He should have been angry, I would have preferred him to be.  Because instead of being real he was holding back for the sake, or fear, of me.  Yes, he was the nicest fucking guy looking out for me well being, but it wasn't healthy for either of us.