Life Ran Into Me

You will always be just a liar

I tried calling her phone a few times but they all went to voicemail. I started to get worried and angry the longer I sat in rose's, a grocery store. "She had one job. She was supposed to be here when I got done" I thought to myself. After waiting for almost 20 minutes I started to contemplate if I should go ahead and call the police or not. I knew my children were in good hands but at the same time, my mom is on the wild and not so safe side sometimes and she definitely didn't ask me to take off with my kids. I started to dial 911 on the pad and then I seen my mom walking outside the window. She held my kids hands and continued to walk with her head down until she approached me. "How'd it go?" She asked me in her loud voice. I was so upset I didn't even want to say anything but I got straight to the point. "It was alright, where yall was?" I asked with a confronting voice and puzzled face. "You were taking so long, I had walked them to the park" she said pointing in the direction she was coming from. My baby were excited to see me wiping cookie crumbs from their face onto mine giving me kisses. My babies were happy and she kept them occupied and safe while doing me a favor so why should I have an attitude right? I quickly got over it and lended her $15 and some food for her house in appreciation for helping me make the trip.
*September 16, 2019*
I was stressed. The plasma center only gives but so much money and my mom was in no position to help me finacially. I was trying to stay afloat before bills approached again. I had everything situated enough to get us by but only for so long. I knew things were going to spiral out of control very soon if I didn't get things back on track immediately. Randy has basically begged me to let him step up and help me take care of the girls after going a month or so without being allowed to see the girls from what he did, so him helping me wasn't so hard for me to ask him. This is the opportunity that he can help me take care of them and have it really matter. So I messaged him. "I stopped working and I need $12 to get 3 one day bus passes so I can transfer the girls daycare to the westside and look for a job over here. I don't want you to tell me you can't do it, I need you to help please." I knew he said he wanted to help but I also knew he wasn't too reliable so I already exed out his excuses and told him to help me. "I can't shorty took the car and moved out today" he replied. I knew he was going to have an excuse anyway. "Go to the plasma center" I suggested. He ignored my suggestion. "I fucked up I put the car in her name" he said. I knew he was trying to slick tell me he bought her car for her but I knew it was a lie because when he was with me he couldn't even buy his own underwear. So I overlooked it and suggested he go to the plasma center once more. I started to explain to him that I don't ask him for a much so I need it for him to actually come through this time. "10.4" he simply responded. When he told me that he would do his best I already knew he was not going to do everything but his best. The very next day I inboxed him. " did you do anything" I asked. He didn't respond to me for hours so I am box him again but this time with an attitude. "I don't even know why I asked you to help, I'll figure it out" I knew that he was saying my messages because it showed me that he was but he didn't open them and that made me grow even more angry so I blocked him. Early in the morning as I watched my baby sleep I felt so much resentment and the longer I looked at my kids the more angry I got with spazz because he has one hell of a nerve to never help me with two kids that he put in me let alone beg me to let him back in their life and to step up only to be more worthless than before. Next thing I know my fingers were tapping the keyboard a million times a minute. I have sent him a long text message cussing him out in the most respectful way expressing how tired I was of him..... being him. It's been almost month since the false incident happened that he seen the girls or even asked about them. I knew that he did not try to help me get the money up because anytime he needed weed he would get the money up ASAP no matter what way he will have to do it. I wasn't expecting him to, but when he needed stuff he would even take it upon himself to grab his gun and robbed someone at night. I just knew he did not put in any effort whatsoever. He probably even wanted to block me as soon as I asked him for help. Fed up with him is a complete understatement. "I dont care if you fed up, I got my own money im straight. I got my own life to live and problems to deal with. I don't care about you and your problems. I still don't fuck with you because the simple fact you still keeping my kids away from me. I can't keep them at my house so fuck you im not feeling sorry for you. Everything that's happening to you right now is the choices you made. I love my girls but I don't give a fuck. They taken care of. You only ask me when you need money. If my kids look like they need it, trust me I will give it to them. I don't trust the words that come out your mouth. I won't even jump to help you. I tried that plenty of times, I will never give you anything out of my pockets. You're on your own with that. You got your family for help. We exchanged many text messages arguing. I informed him that I would be posting our conversation to Facebook because he's famous for crying out as a victim. Or that he want to be a father to his kids but in reality he refuses. He makes me out to be a bitter babymama for his family, friends and hoes and that's never the case. So I was sure that I was going to expose our messages when he started the crying shit. We continued to argue. After having my babies, I started to feel insecure. My jeans and shirt sizes went up and my cheeks got bigger and my confidence started to get lower and lower over time. That was a very sensitive topic for me every time I talked to him about it. He knew my mind was fragile about it. He used to express all the time how much he loved my new body despite what I think. Whenever I was in the mirror damn near ready to cry from the change, he'd come up behind me and hug me and tell me how much he lived me and how beautiful I am. Whenever I was chilling he'd come up and grab me and just adore my body. He slept on my titties every night, rubbed my thighs randomly throughout the day and give me unlimited kisses on my stomach when I lay down minding my business on my phone. He just made me appreciate and love every part of my body. It came to the point where I just walked around butt ass naked majority of our alone time because he made me fall in love with my body. And I continued to love my body even after leaving him. So to get those kind of words from him made me want to bleach his soul blend it and burn it and stuff it back into his body. I responded as if I were unbothered though until he blocked me.