Life Ran Into Me

Bad Became Worse

I could not piece it together that he gave me something. I never had and std ever in my life. I went to the hospital alone once again. I was so sick of going there alone. Or even at all. When my name was called to see my obgyn my heart dropped. She weighed me and told me that she was concerned about me and why I'm losing weight. I had lost 15 pounds when I was supposed to be gaining weight. I was so stressed on top of being sick. She told me I was going to have to get a shot in my ass. "My what!?" I said so quickly I thought I heard her wrong. "Your buttox. It'll be quick just don't move and we will only have to do it once." She said calmly. I was so ready to walk out the hospital once she walked out the room. I contemplated on leaving for a good 10 mins. I didn't know how stds work. "It can go away on its own in due time right? Is there a pill I can just take for this?" I tried to come up with anything. Anything that prevented me from getting a shot in my ass. I wanted to kill Spazz because why was he doing all this shit to me and did he even know he had something? It doesn't matter if he knew or not I was furious with him. The doctor came back and the room and was ready to stick me. I clinched my fist and scrunched my face as tight as I could to prepeare myself for the pain I was about to feel. Needless to say that did not work. Once I felt the needle I screamed so loud it was the worst shot I will never forget. She told me I needed to protect myself. I was so embarrassed because I was pregnant and had to do this. I didn't think my baby daddy would give me anything and I was already pregnant by him so I didn't think to use protection.

This was so important to me and at this point I had grown close with Karla so I could tell her anything. As soon as I got home I went straight to my room to tell her everything. I still felt like it was a secret. I didn't want it to be a secret because of the simple fact I knew Spazz had it so it would come to the light and if anybody was going to know it should be by me. So I told my entire household and they were there for me. No judgement. Everyone in my house hated his guts. At this point I did too. Truly this time. A few days later Spazz stops by to visit his mom. The door was wide open while I was cleaning up and we ended up making eye contact. He just walked in trying to hug me. I rejected it without explanation. I asked him calmly to just leave. He wasn't hearing that. He was still trying to throw hiself on me. "Nigga you gave me a std!" I said it. I finally said it. I was angry and I knew it was him. I haven't sleot with shon in a month and would've been got a phone call if it was from him and he would've snapped on me by now. "The fuck you talkin bout?" He tried to look so confused but something in me felt like he knew he fucked up. "I had to go get treated today cause my doctor called me and told me about it!" "I don't got shit! Chill out with all that shit" His boice was alot louder than mine so everything I was saying after that was unheard after he kept rambling about his dick being clean and left. Later that night I looked on his girlfriend's page to see what she was dissing me about. It was every day that she was talking shit about me and I would just read it all. She said "Lil bitch want my man so bad she's mad she can't have him." I actually replied to her bullshit. I told her how he was just at my house trying to hug on me. And just like him, he denied it quickly. Him and Ashely later pulled up that night out of the blue. Maybe not with the intention to argue with me but he once again made his way to my room. At this time me and my family were all in my room talking just spending time in there. He bust in trying to confront me about going back and forth with his girlfriend. "She pregnant she don't need to be arguing with yo ass and since you wanna talk so much tell yo family you got a std." He thought he hit the spot. He thought he had embarrassed me and felt so satisfied saying that. But jokes on him because I already told my family. "But now its up to you to tell your girlfriend she has it too while you bragging and she thinks its so funny." My family told him he had to go because he wasn't welcomed back in the house. I never felt so backed up by my family.