Life Ran Into Me

A reality flashback

Waiting nervously yet patiently, I was expecting him to text or call me cursing me out for getting him in trouble. It's been about 2 days and I haven't heard from him. But that was normal so that didn't help me figure out if he was mad at me or just never found out.
*fast forward a week*
It's Mother's day and I didn't expect to hear from him at all. But early in the morning he sent me a "Happy Mother's Day" text message. I hesitated to respond because I didn't know how. If I should just say thank you or start conversation. So later on in the day around 3pm I texted back a simple thank you to appear nonchalant. He responded quickly after that inviting me to Kiko's house. Kiko is the friend that lives across the street from his job. He said that he's been paying them rent to stay there for some time now and that he loves it. "They good people and smoke all damn day" he added to make me feel more welcomed. I don't smoke so I don't know why'd he tell me that but I wanted to see him so I was definitely on the first bus to him. When I got there everyone was sitting in the living room. It was very crowed with trash, belongings & people. Spazz was all smiles to see us. He was happy we were there he introduced me to everybody and started to show off April and Praise. There was infant Kiko's daughter I was caught up in her almost the whole time. I had baby fever like crazy so I was holding and entertaining her. Only time I wasn't was if my kids were touching something they shouldn't or if spazz was talking my head off. I still had a very good time I didn't wanna leave and he didn't want us to leave. But we had to. It was about 10pm when he walked with us to the bus stop to go home. "I'm really glad you brought my girls over here they make a nigga happy as fuck fr" he said giving April kisses on her cheek as he was holding her. He didn't leave until we were seated on the bus. It was pretty full so we didn't have no where to sit and before someone would be generous enough to move he told 2 people to get up and let us sit down. He didn't ask. I was a little bit embarrassed about how aggressive he seemed but he damn sure made sure we had a comfortable place to sit with enough room so I didn't mind. These visits went on for almost a week until one day he asked me to come over last minute. I knew what I was wearing would turn him on but I was just coming home from school and the girls would arrive any minute so I had no time to do anything. I was on my way to him to spend an hour or two where he lives. Once we arrived I noticed he was the only one inside. All his roomates and friends were nextdoor doung whatever it was that kept them occupied from coming in. He still locked the door behind us. I didn't think nothing of that. Maybe it was just something he was used to, I do that at my house. He gave the girls a little amount of attention this time. Most of it was on me. He started to roll up a blunt but before he could I asked if I could roll it for him. Even though I don't smoke I still love to roll it because I do it so well. He watched me the whole time and when I licked he couldn't help but to get turned on. "Damn you licking my blunt like it's a..." He didn't finish he just laughed it off. I guess I provoked his thoughts because I laughed it off too. He started smoking and about halfway through his blunt he started looking at me sexually. I knew he wanted sex but I didn't want any. We were at someone else's house and my kids were wide awake on the other couch next to us playing with a few toy-like things. I had on a short black dress with no panties on. It looked like I was expecting sex from him but I wasn't. "I saw yo ass when you bent over when you first got here" he said smirking. "I didn't mean to. I just didnt have time to change clothes when I left school." I said. "You wore that shit to school? What you got a lil boyfriend in there? Alot of people probably saw yo ass like I did" he said being a smart ass. "No I don't have a boyfriend and I don't be bending over at school on top of the fact that it barely be people there" I defended myself quickly. I got up to take trash out of Praise's hand and he got up right behind me. He grabbed my hand to turn me around before I could take the trash out of her hand and he started to kiss me. I kissed him back but I stopped and said "Spazz I gotta take this piece of trash from Praise" I pulled away from him but he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me back and started to suck on my neck. He knew that got me wet every time but it didn't this time. I pushed him away from me with all my force but he didn't move very far. He just got more aggressive and lifted my dress up to grab my ass. No wonder he locked the door. "Spazz please stop I don't want to do this " I said over and over and over again as I aggressively pushed him off. I mushed his face so he could stop sucking on my neck "Lay yo ass down" he said as he forced me back on the couch. "Randy the kids are right there looking at us. Look!" I said getting angry. "Shut the fuck up" he said. He was trying to stick his dick in me and with no panties on he had easy access. He didn't get to go in and out as much because I continued to fight him off of me. At this point he had me folded up on top of me and since he couldn't get his dick in he put his fingers in. "Spazz bruh stop" I was about to cry. There was no tears but you could hear it in my voice. I wasn't in pain or anything I was just hurt because he did it in front of my kids. He didn't care. And also because this is what he did to me the first time we ever had "sex". I felt so horrible. After he gave up I quickly got my babies things ready and didn't say a word to him. "Ima walk with you to the bus stop" he said getting ready and spraying air freshener in the air so his friends wouldn't smell anything. He unlocked the door. "No I got it" I said with a attitude. "You see how easily a nigga can rape you, you got that shit on late at night with my daughters with you" he said getting very serious. I see why he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder I thought to myself. He's acting like he wasnt the one to just do that to me. But he had a point. So I sat down on the couch with my legs crossed and my arms folded and upset face. Kiko comes through the door loud and happy asf I don't know if he was high or drunk but he wasn't sober. They were really having fun next door that's probably why nobody heard me. "Oh now you wanna come in" I thought to myself. "Kiko bruh I'm finna hot up effic to take my babymama and my kids home and I'll be back later tonight so keep the door unlocked for me."