The story we didn't know

IV.

She slowly showed me and explained how to use the shower and other contraptions in this room. She brought the towels and let me be.

I manufacture the thing so it fills like a tub and I enter the warm water without thought. A few minutes pass by and I dive into the water.

"No don't do it Kuran-san! There so much to live for!"

She grabs me by my shoulders out the water.

"What! Are ! You doing?!" I screamed at her.

"Eh?"

"You weren't going to..." she gazes at me as much as she blushes.

"I am so sorry Kuran-san! I thought-" she runs out to the bedroom with the towels guarding her face.

"I am not that sad." I said, I lied.

I get off the tub...

"Where are the towels?"

"Oh, sorry. I'm really sorry." She awkwardly hands me the towel, face looking to her back.

"Tch." I grab the towel and put my pants on.

"What is...happening here?" I hear Ai's voice.

"Oh. Ai Welcome h-"

"Why are you half dressed?!" Ren screamed.

"Dad you player!" Ai shouted.

"It's nothing like that. I -" said the girl sadly.

"What was it then?!" Ren harshly takes her hand.

"Ren...let her go." I grab her hand instead.

"She was worried I...in the tub... I..." I sighed.

We all grew silent.

"I'll go ahead first" The girl quickly exits the place.

"Look what you did!" Ai said to Ren

"What are you talking about-"

"Why are you always so-"

"Stop." I whispered and they continued arguing.

"Stop!"

"Dad..."

"Kaname..."

"Can I have a moment please? Alone. I want to be alone for a while..." I try to stay on my legs but I barely can stand.

"Kaname!"

"Dad!"

"Have you eaten something?" Ai asked.

I nod.

"Yes. I di-'"

"No he hasn't. I can tell. I'll bring him some food."

Ai caresses my hand while Ren looks for something for me to eat.

"I'm so sorry Dad." Ai whispered.

"It wasn't our choice to make." Said Yukine as he entered the room.

"Here, have some rice at least. I know you won't get used to food that easily. You should try."

"...Please father." Said Ai.

"We didn't choose for her to disappear and for you to be here. Have you even given thought to how we feel?" said Ren with a trembling voice.

"Ren! Stop!" Ai yelled.

"We didn't have a right to stop her you know! It was her choice! I would have stayed with my mom if it were my choice Kaname!"

Ai slaps Ren, I'm startled. They stay in front of each other for a few seconds, tightening their fists. Ren leaves the room.

"I know you're not at fault. Just give me some time." I say to Ai.

I gobbled the rice until Ai was convinced I have eaten enough, and I try to have some sleep. I'm thinking... How much of a bother I must be to the two of them? All I've done since I awoke is be emotionally unstable about my own existence and absence of Yuki. I don't know how to be human; I've never been one, unlike Yuki. It's not a usual thing for me to eat real foods, play with friends, have a family, relax or try to have little chit chats...

I don't know how to be anything except for sad, to read, study, drink blood and protect the one I loved.

The one I loved ...I've come to realize I can feel so much more as a human. I have never felt my emotions as powerful as I do now.

My grief, my sorrow, my love all of them have been tripled.

It's like having a fresh wound, but in your mind, that progesses to anything except sanity...I'm not sure I've ever even known sanity... Have I? Was I ever really alive?

My only insurance that I really lived is that I...

Loved her...

I adored her...

I protected her...

Now all I have is this feeling.

This feeling...

My first real emotion and no one to give it to. How stupidly egocentric I am, I have a family. A chance to live but I insist to those who are not here to bring me back to my slumber in nowhere.

I was nowhere, not asleep, not alive not even dead. I was just there, waiting... Waiting for a feeling to come back... and it did.

I always knew that by nature, as a vampire I was strong.

As a human, I know by nature I am not.