Hard to Love

XIV

Olive's pov

As soon as I got home and opened the door Ainsley tackled me with and hug and started crying. I know why she's crying. Not out of sympathy, but because my mom was like a mom to her too, ever since her own mom left her and Trent ten years ago. I soothingly rubbed her back as she let out all the pain and anger she had bottled up.

"My first girlfriend turned into the moon." "That's rough buddy." I heard the Avatar: the last Airbender playing on the tv as Ainsley went back to her cooking and Trent came home. "Hey Liv." Trent said sympathetically. "Hi." I replied blankly. I'm really starting to find all these 'I'm sorry for your loss' looks very very annoying. I don't need their pity looks and hugs, I need my mom back.

"Hey where's Esme and David?" I questioned. "Oh um... they kinda moved to NYC together while you were gone." Trent said unsure with how to answer my question. "They wanted to tell you goodbye in person but they had a scheduled flight." Ainsley further explained. "Hold up. When did they even get together?" I was baffled by this, I mean made since but still. "A little bit after you left. It was very sudden, Milo was furious that David was taking his cousin away from him but he'll get over it eventually." Speak of the devil. Milo came out of his room as if we summoned him somehow and kissed Ainsley while hugging her from the back. It was cute. "Hey, how are you?" Milo stupidly asked me. "I'm fine." I replied on impulse. I get along pretty well with Milo but his question really ticked me off how are you? What am I supposed to say to that? I feel phenomenal, my mom is dead so that's amazing! No. How does he think I'm doing.

   I wish River were here, he disappeared before we were supposed to fly back together. I miss him. It doesn't feel like home here without him. I love Ainsley and all that she's doing for me, but she needs to help herself as well.

   When Ainsley finished dinner which was a, chicken, broccoli, and red bell pepper stir fry, we all sat on the couch (except for Trent whom we made sit on the ground since he just got back from the gym and is currently refusing to take a shower. It's beyond me.) and watched The Avatar.

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  Later that night when everyone went to bed I went outside to the backyard and just laid there looking up at the stars and expansive space. Listening to the leaves rustle as well as the crickets and tree frogs. For the first time since her death I felt somewhat at peace. "Can I sit?" I heard a deep raspy voice ask from the darkness which I identified as River. "I guess." I sighed heavily as I instantly felt more relaxed by his presence. "Where did you go?" "I went to," he paused for a second to lie down next to me, "visit my sister. Well her grave I mean." Oh.

   Neither of as said anything else as we laid there in silence unable to form any words. We were both broken beyond repair so there was nothing to say to make anything feel okay again. But there were actions and River knew this. He sat up and gestured me to do the same then pulled me towards him and hugged me close. He kissed me on the forehead and whispered in my ear, "I know I'm hard to love sometimes but please, please don't leave me too." I kissed his cheek but I couldn't speak, I hope he knows that I don't want to ever leave him.

    I started crying a few minutes later no longer able to contain the tears. River stood up and took my hand to lead me inside. "Go get some sleep Olive. You need it." He whispered to me then he went to his room after saying goodnight. Don't go, I thought as I watched him close the door.

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Word Count: 695