Hard to Love

XVI

(⚠️trigger warning⚠️ suicide is depicted in the following text!)

River's pov

"River can I talk to you in private?" Olive looks around me at Ainsley, Milo, and Trent sitting around the dining table playing Monopoly. "Er.. sure.—What's up?" I say when we're in my room. Olive pulls onto me with a tight hug and kisses my cheek. "Thank you." She whispers softly. "For what?" "For not giving up on me." We stand in my slowly darkening room hugging each other close.

Olive reaches up and cups my face and says, "I'm sorry River." Then with that she closes the distance between us. I move my hands down to her waist and pull her as close to me as possible. The kiss starts off slow then turns really passionate. I pull away from her when I feel a tear trickle down her smooth skin.

"Hey, are you okay?" "I love you Riv and I'm sorry." What? "Why do you keep apologizing?" Olive turns to walk out of my room, "I love you too Ollie." She turns to look at me one more time before she leaves.

She makes her way to Ainsley and they hug after Olive tells her best friend she loves her too. "Goodnight everybody!" Olive smiles. "G'night sweet cheeks." Trent smirks at her and I feel an emotion I've never felt before, not even when I was with Emery.

"Suck it sons!" Ainsley yells as she wins Monopoly and throws all her money at Milo and Trent. "Kay Imma head to bed." Milo leans over and kisses her on the forehead before Ainsley makes her way towards the stairs.

Moments later a deafening scream shatters the silence that was engulfing us. We run up to Olive and Ainsley's room as fast as we humanly could. The sight we saw that night will forever haunt us. Ainsley sat there hugging Olive's cold body, which was covered in blood. A knife lay in her limp hand. Olive's tear stained face and deep gash on the side of her neck shook us to our cores.

I kneeled down blurry eyed and grabbed her small hand and held it tight. Milo was attempting to help Ainsley through the panic attack she's having while trying to fight back his own grief. I felt something in Olive's hand so I pulled whatever it is out to discover a tear stained note, which said:

  I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough, River, and I'm sorry I gave up. I love you and Ainsley, Milo, Trent, Esme, and David. I'm sorry I couldn't hold on to see you guys another day or to see Esme and David one more time. I just couldn't do this anymore. Please don't blame yourselves. I'll miss you guys very much. Promise me you all will continue to live your lives as you would if I was there. Milo stop being a chicken and just propose to Ainsley   already. I love you all very much.             Good bye.

  A fresh stream of tears came flowing out on their own accord and I passed the note to Ainsley. 

I need some fresh air.

I went out to the spot we sat at after we came home from the hospital, soon Trent joined me. We sat in silence for a little while until he spoke, "I have known Liv basically my whole life. She's always been strong. Which is why I'm so confused and hurt right now." "Even the strongest fall." I whisper through the pain.

***

With a shaky breath I straighten my tie and smooth down my jacket. The sky cried with us as we watched them bury Olive. Her bastard of a father didn't bother to come to her funeral which isn't a surprise but still she was his daughter. Esme and David flew down though. While everyone started walking away I stayed behind to spend some more time with Olive. "I love you Ollie." I repeated the last words I said to her as I laid her favorite flower, a fire lily, on her head stone.

The rain finally let up as I was walking back to the vehicles. There I saw the man who made Olive's life a living hell. The man who killed her. I marched over to him and punched him hard in the face. He fell to the ground but that didn't stop me. I continued to let out all of my anger, frustration and pain out on this piece of shit while screaming, "You killed her!", at him. He didn't try to fight back and he reeked of alcohol so I slowly stood up. He muttered something before attempting to stand with tears threatening to fall. I decided after a long internal battle with myself to help him to a nearby bench.

"I never meant for it to go this far. I never wanted to push her that far." Did he do all that shit for fun? I resisted the urge to hit him again. "It's a little too late to regret it now." He said more to himself than to me. A small part of me wants to feel bad for the guy but then again you reap what you sow.

•••

Word Count: 915

I apologize for the depressing chapter. This isn't the ending but we're close to the end of this book! I also want to stress that suicide is never an option you got this you're amazing and strong just hang in there things will get better!