Hard to Love

XV

(⚠️Trigger warning!⚠️ This chapter depicts a scene of attempted suicide so please read with caution!)

Olive's pov

It's 4 a.m. and I should be a sleep but I'm not. I'm crying my eyes out because today I've officially hit my breaking point. I haven't cried this much in a long time, I know I've should've cried more when my mom died but I just kinda sat back and watched everyone else live their lives. I've been too numb to cry or really feel anything, and I guess everything finally caught up to me. 'Cause here I am curled up in a ball on my bedroom floor trying my best to silently cry so I won't wake up Ainsley.

  This all started when my dad visited me this morning and without warning he managed to steal my last remaining piece of life. With a freaking arranged marriage like we're back in the thirteenth century or some shit like that. I'm supposed to be going to his office building tomorrow to meet the guy I'm supposedly going to marry. I don't want the sun to come up in the morning.

    I sigh deeply as I finish tying my air forces and stand up to look at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a black corset body suit with torn mom jeans. "Come in." I say to whoever knocked on the bathroom door. "Hey." River says smiling at my reflection. He wraps his arms around me and nuzzles his face into my neck. "You look beautiful." My heart. "Thank you." I try to keep my voice steady. "Where are you going?" He asks me raising an eye brow. "Out." Which earns me an eye roll. I shimmy out of his hold and out the door.

   I look up at my fathers office building. It makes me feel small just like he always makes me feel. I go to the elevator and press the floor number to hell. The ding jolts me out of the daze I was in and back to the cold reality. My steps feel heavy walking towards his office. Hand on the door knob I breathe in a shaky breath and turn it.

No.

   This can't be happening! "Why is he here?" I scream at my father as Charles Wallace, aka my former boss who sexually harassed me, starts walking towards me. "Charles is your fiancé dear." He spoke with a wicked grin. Charles seized my wrist and yanked me into his chest. Hard. Then he raised my chin so I'd meet his eyes but I look away earning me a slap across the face. "You look your superiors in the eyes!" My dad yells at me pushing me into his desk. "You have no choice in this matter! Now leave us!" As I try to rush out the door Charles grabs my waist so I elbow him earning another slap. "You're mine now." His vile breath stings my ear as he whispers to me and shoves me out the door causing me to stumble and fall.

I don't even have to energy to drive home right now. I'm just here sitting on a park bench watching all the happy families playing together. My legs start walking on their accord it feels like, leading me to a bridge. I sit down on the railing dangling my legs over the side facing the drop off. Hot tears waterfall over as I try to gain the courage to jump and end this horrible nightmare. I slowly stand up steadying myself then-

   A pair of strong arms wrap around my waist pulling me back down. Whoever they are, they spin me around to reveal, "River?" It's barely a whisper. "Listen. You might have given up but I haven't! And I won't let you either!" River exclaims as he pulls me into a tight loving hug and cries into my shoulder. I can feel his heart beating I put my hand on his heart. "Damn Olive. You nearly gave me a heart attack! If you would've jumped I would've had to jump too!" I stifle a laugh and hug him closer to me. "I love you." I murmur partly hoping he didn't hear me. "I love you so damn much Ollie." My face hurts from the biggest smile I've smiled in a while. He cups my face with he's hands. "I love it when you smile. It broke my heart watching it fade. What happened today that made you want to- to do that?" I bite my bottom lip then I tell him. Everything.

"I should've killed them when I had the chance."

•••

Word Count: 865

Hey loves! Suicide is never an option! You are loved. You are worth it. You are beautiful. You are amazing. Don't let the things of this world get inside you and weigh you down. If you need to talk I am here! Anyway sorry for not updating in a while, mega writers block! I hope you've enjoyed this as much as you can enjoy a sad chapter. I love you all! Have a blessed day darlings!