Just Another Deal...

Drowning

The seconds pass, and all I remember are the words of every single one of my family's words, spewing such angry words, "how could you not even listen to me?" I ask, close to breaking down. "Just listen," I say, desperate to make everything work out
"We've found a better way, all the creatures and people will be safe," I say, words coming out like a broken dam releasing a tidal wave, shock filling their faces. " This way, we can keep it contained forever..." I say as all their faces turn bitter and fill with scorn. "Dipper, how could you do this to us?"

I feel my breath stutter as the last little piece of me is breaking, please. "Please just listen to what I have to say." Please don't close me out. "This is wrong!" Ford says with a slight hint of hate in his tone. "No... you're not listening," I say, knowing this feeble attempt will do nothing for them. They've already closed themselves off, but I didn't betray you. "Look, Dipper, you have to stop whatever you're trying to do," stan say, his voice sounding so sad and defeated. Why does that hurt the worst? Turning around, I flee to the woods, away from them and away from Bill. I just want to be alone, with no one trying to console or pass judgment.
This is a mistake....how could you ever think he could be good!" Panting with anger from her outburst. I stand still, the words cut like a knife, and it feels like the blade is jagged and dull. Looking at their faces and all the anger and dissatisfaction I see, I run away from these people and all the judgment they throw at me. It hurts, god, it hurts, please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, stopping in the middle of the road, I wanna stop and give up. There's no one....no one who loves me....and I'm tired of holding on to find anyone that could.

Deep shuddering breaths wrack my body as I try to get more air in. Am I not allowed to feel happy? Was I better off blocking all my emotions, forgetting all my happiness? It would have been better before I had gotten too attached. Now, all I wanna stop this horrible pain, which hurts, and I can't swallow anymore. It all hurts so much. I'm so tired... of it all. As my tears taper off to small sniffles, I feel so lost. Where can I even go now?

I don't want to go back, nor do I want to see the bill. What if it's true, what if all this is a lie, and what if all these emotions don't matter? Maybe I am the fool to fall so easily. He was so kind and nice, and for the briefest of moments, I felt loved and cherished. How could something like that be a mistake? Was it one... All the thoughts aren't new, and they didn't just suddenly occur to me. From the moment we started this, I had doubts. I've had thoughts that this was all some elaborate plan to destroy and take over the world. Laughing a little at the absurdity of it all, aimlessly walking, I just need to find a quiet place to think. Wandering aimlessly, I feel so listless and empty that I can't cry anymore, and yet I still feel sad. I'm so confused, and I'm tired of everything feeling like some heavy weight.

Finding a small clearing, I collapse beside a tree. I don't even know what time it is. All I know is that the sun set some time ago. Sighing, I turn to look at the sky. I feel myself relax just watching all the stars. What do I even do? If I get desperate enough, I could always go home. We fixed the weirdness problem. Bill has more freedom than if Ford had drawn the circle. What else do I have going for me here?

Feeling my eyes close, I don't want to see the bill! I just want to sleep. I try imagining a giant wall over my head. I try to project it all, just hoping it'll work. I'm hoping I won't have to see him... feeling sluggish, I let sleep take me.

Feeling myself floating, I open my eyes to myself, jolting away. I find my hands fade. Looking back at my sleeping body, taking a step back, I feel so confused. Walking back the way I came, I wandered the forest, noticing a small light appearing around my waist. A translucent and dim blue light emitted from it. It looks like a hula hoop; it doesn't budge when I try to move it. Leaving it alone, I continue to walk through the forest, finding the small path that leads me back to the town. I notice how quiet it is as it reaches a cement sidewalk. I continue straight to reach the shack. It's kind of creepy seeing the town so quiet. It's also kind of nice. It feels like I'm the only one here. I wish it could always be this peaceful. Humming a small tune, I reach the dirt path to the mystery shack, finding all the lights on, I walk to the kitchen window and peek in.
I see all the familiar faces, my family, and some townspeople, and it looks like they are talking.