Aperture

Decisions

I honestly never thought that everything would turn out this way.

What seemed to be a very happy vacation at home became something that was totally otherwise. Manager Kim called me to tell me the agency's plan about the photos that came out while I was in Daegu. With Bin.

Yes, we were seen in Duryu Park and E World 83. The only places where we allowed ourselves to forget who I was and what my status was. In all honesty, I never wanted for this to happen. But then it did. I didn't want to deny Bin at all, not in the slightest way ever.

'Yejinssi, you need to address this. Your drama is coming up, and it would technically burn bridges with your fans,' my manager said. As he said so, I felt my blood boil.

How can something so happy become something that will have to make me deny the person who gave me true happiness?

'Oppa, I don't want to deny him and tell a lie. Is that hard to understand?' I said.

'Are you ruining your career, Yejin?' he asked.

'Are you ruining my life, Oppa? Can we talk about this again when I get back to Seoul?' I said, furrowing my eyebrows. Bin must have noticed it, because he came near me.

How could I ever forget that day? That day when I also got angry with Bin, because he seemed to know what was happening. Asking me a question about separation. I didn't want to be angry with him, but I didn't want to talk to him either. Not when there are so many things that happened in a mere ten minutes. While in the car, I wanted to talk to him, I kept my pride and instead slept. We have never talked about what happened that day and he never asked anything about it.

'I'm coming home to you.' I told him as I was on my way to the house. I figured I would just come back and bring my car with me.

If I am careless, I don't care. All I need to know and see now is the man I love and how he is.

I knocked on his door and when he opened it, I immediately went to embrace him. Tears fell down my eyes and I was sobbing uncontrollably. Bin held me by the waist, and he was supporting my whole weight. I felt like a total mess, and I only wanted a moment of peace. I wanted to just feel nothing but tranquility, for now.

He held me in his arms as he guided me to sit on his chair. He knelt down in front of me and I hugged him right back. I can't even look into his eyes right now, those eyes that see my true self, that could see the inner Yejin that no one else can see. He caressed my hair as he whispered,

'It's okay. Let's talk when you stop crying.' Over and over again.

This is the hardest part. Telling him what happened. But I need to do it.

'Bin,' I said in between sobs. 'I'm sorry.'

He shushed me but I tried to face him. He wiped my eyes and kissed my forehead, and even though I know he demands an explanation, I understand he was willing to wait for me.

'What happened, the agency. It was their stunt, with Bidam at the helm of it,' I said. He looked at me and I couldn't place any emotion in his eyes. It was blank. I did not see the Bin whom I have fallen in love with, in those expressionless eyes.

'There were photos of us in Daegu. After our trip, Oppa called me and told me to clarify something with him. He sent me a picture. It was ours,' I said, pausing to catch my breath and wipe my eyes. Bin was holding me still, while looking at me intently. He urged me to continue.

'He told me that I had to address it. I told him that I will not deny it, but his only reply was that the drama is underway and it might do something to my career if I admit it. I never, ever wished to deny you. I thought we already agreed not to say anything about it, but I was so surprised at what that bastard did earlier,' I continued.