Bitter Bliss: A Poetry Collection

missing your father

your head is hurting and you don't know how to make it stop.

it is pounding, pounding, pounding, a monster trying to break free

of your skull, hurting, hurting, hurting in your head.

tears come, thick like the uj'alayi you made with him earlier,

sticking to your ugly red cheeks, the cheeks of your father.

sobs wrack your body and it hurts, hurts, hurts, 

you want it to stop, stop, stop.

you crawl into bed and feel so, so, so pathetic,

hugging a pillow like it could bring him back,

back from the place where he said it was dangerous,

where he said he could get hurt, could disappear.

I'll be back, ad'ika, he said, promise,

the word ringing in your ears again

as you wish, wish, wish, he will return, return, return,

safe again with you on his lap.

sobbing in the bed you share, looking at the right pillow

where he sleeps, smelling the scent of him, your buir,

waiting for the engines to fire his ship lands,

marking him at home, home, home,

where he belongs with you, you, you,

just waiting, waiting, waiting, longing

to be able to rest in his arms, cry on his shoulder,

steady your breaths as he whispers in his affectionate tongue,

ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, ner ad'ika, ner alit, 

so softly, softly, softly, straight into your ear, 

with you sniffling and nodding and promising to stay, stay, stay.

later, you'll eat some cake and forget about your red eyes,

smile and laugh and see the light, only coming from your father's gaze,

feeling him just being alive, alive, alive and next to you, you, you

as he draws your head in close to him 

and kisses your forehead gently.

but that is later, and now, you fall asleep.

A/N: This is about Boba Fett missing his father, and I have included some words in Mando'a. A different style, I know.

Translations:

uj'alayi  =a type of cake with nuts and fruits

ad'ika  = child

buir  = father

ni kar'tayl gar darasuum, ner ad'ika, ner alit  = I love you, my child, my family