Apartment 6F

fifteen; ambulances and white walls

and it was black.
I heard sirens echoing through the air and shouting that hurt my ringing ears. My mouth tasted like blood and my lips felt so dry that they felt like they might peel off my face any moment. The pain in my head increased with the sounds, which made me want scream. Something opened the door next to me slowly, almost causing me to tumble out. I kept my eyes clenched shut, keeping the world out. I felt arms wrap around me and I thought for a mere second that maybe Casey was okay, until I heard a female's voice and I was hauled onto what felt like a platform.
I was scared. I needed Casey, or Rachel, or even my mom at this moment. The sounds of yelling and horns and ambulances surrounded me until I heard a door slam and felt a forward movement. My body was unable to move, paralyzed with fear. Someone placed something on my face that helped my breathing calm down. I heard them discussing me as if wasn't there. I heard but didn't see. I refused to open my eyes. "Her condition seems stable. Probably just a concussion and a broken nose. The other boy in the car was unconscious when they hauled him out," I heard a man in the ambulance, I guessed, with me. A female's voice responded,"The whole car's side was smashed in where he was. He's lucky to be alive at all." No. No. He's alive but he's unconscious. Why couldn't it be me? My eyes flitted open and I saw two adults standing by my side. I was laying on a gurney with cords and medicines covering the walls of the ambulance. I tried to take off the mask but the man and woman's hands held me down as I tried to get out. "Get off of me, I'm okay! Let me see him! Let me see him!" I shouted desperately. The woman's mouth tightened. "Listen, we're transporting you to a hospital. You were in a bad car crash. It's important that you relax and let us do what we need to do." I tried to calm myself down by taking deep breaths, but I couldn't stop the thoughts of Casey being dead or even unconscious in my head. I tried to push myself off the gurney but dizziness hit me like a bullet and I fell into the black once again.

I woke up to the sound of whispered voices and beeping machines. The pain in my head had subsided and I opened my eyes to a brightly lit white-walled hospital room. Rachel was sitting in a chair at the end of the bed, but no one else. It felt like a rock had sunk to the bottom of my stomach. My mom hadn't even shown up the one time I actually needed her. No matter how much it hurt I had to remember that feelings flow and people go and there's nothing I could do about it.
I saw a nurse enter the room out of the corner of my eye and Rachel sat up straighter. "Is she gonna be okay?" She seemed nervous. The nurse smiled and and replied,"Just give her some time to rest. We fixed her nose and as long as she rests and keeps at the same rate she is now, the concussion should go away fairly fast. We plan on releasing her tomorrow morning." Rachel breathed out a sigh of relief and I decided it wouldn't be a good time to "wake up". I laid in the uncomfortable bed, my entire body aching, along with my mind. The nurse came to the side and began checking the noisy machines I seemed to be hooked up to. I noticed I had a tube running out of my arm, which made me want to throw up. An IV, my worst fear. I sat up quickly, which made my head pound. "Please get this thing out of me. Please!" The nurse turned around to face me with a look of surprise on her face. I saw Rachel's eyes widen too in my peripheral vision. The dark-haired woman's eyebrows bunched together in concern before she said, "Dear, you've been in a bad accident and I think it's best if you just relax until tomorrow morn-" I cut her off, "No! Please, I need to see him. I need to make sure he's okay!" She sighed and wrapped her hand around mine and said, "Everything is going to be okay, I promise." I glanced and saw her name tag before she left the white-walled room. Nancy.

I sat underneath the itchy hospital blanket in the gown that made me feel way too exposed, as Rachel stared at me from across the room. She had tears in her eyes. "I'm fine, I'm going to be fine," I told her. But even I didn't believe it. My thoughts had been on full throttle since I had woken up, and even though I told myself not to, I felt the tears threatening to come out. "He's dead isn't he?"
Rachel pushed herself off the couch and came to the side of my bed. She hesitated before saying, "No, he's still unconscious. They don't know when or if he'll wake up. He had some internal bleeding so they brought him into surgery and he's out and okay, but they're afraid his brain went through some extreme trauma and that he might be in a coma. I'm so sorry, Noah."
"It was my fault. He looked over at me and then the car hit us."
Rachel sat down in the chair next to the bed. "It's not Noah. At least you're okay." I moaned and placed my face in my hands. Rachel pulled them from my face. "I'm not going to let you just wallow in your pain. You're gonna get out of this hospital and so is Casey. And you are not gonna be a whiney bitch about it either." I gave her a weak smile and replied with a simple,"Okay."