"Dad? What are you doing here?"
My father had disappeared six years ago, unexpectedly. My mother's alcoholism had only increased more after that.
Of course, we were a messed-up family before he left, but he was the man that had raised me while my mom spent her night's at parties and the bar. As soon as he left, I was alone. I had to take care of myself. And now he was here.
I glanced down at my phone and suddenly comprehended my mom's random phone call and the "creepy" text message. I looked back at Rachel, who seemed perfectly fine and I realized I'd never told her about my parents and my messed-up childhood. "I'll be in your room, Noah. Chinese should be here soon," she said and left. As soon as she was gone, my dad stood up. "Noah, you're so beautiful, so old..." I saw his eyes scan me. I could see the pain flow over him. I didn't care. "Why are you here? You haven't cared the last few years of my life," I practically shouted at him. He cringed before replying,"Noah, you don't understand the whole story... It's so much more complicated than you think." I rolled my eyes.
"You couldn't of called and explained? I was twelve and you left me with that woman! You were all I had!"
"She told me to leave, Noah. She made me leave. She said she wanted nothing to do with me and that I couldn't take you. I wanted to so badly, but she wouldn't let me," he finally said. I bunched up my eyebrows in confusion.
"Why would she do that? I mean, I know you guys weren't really together because of her drinking, but it doesn't make sense," I replied. He walked over and put his arms around me. I stood awkwardly before wrapping mine around him too. I couldn't help the tears that were now falling from my face. "Noah, she was tired of me trying to fix her. She said she didn't want to be, so I was kicked out. And you know your mother, every time I tried to contact you or visit you, she destroyed the possibility, so I gave up. Until now, when I got a call from the hospital saying you had been in an accident. I couldn't do nothing." I didn't reply, I just cried into his shoulder. Finally I said, "It's okay, dad. I forgive you." We stood like that for a long while before he stepped out of the hug to face me. "I should head out now. Your friend is in there waiting. I'll keep I touch, I promise. It'll be different this time, Noah. I'll be a real dad for once," he said. Then, he kissed me on the forehead and left my living room.
I had crashed back in my room after eating chinese food and relaxing with Rachel. She took my mind off things and managed to make me laugh despite how crappy I really felt inside. I was sure she had heard what happened but she didn't ask, which I was grateful for. We were watching a cheesy romance and right during an extreme makeout session between the starcrossed lovers, her phone had rang, her roommate asking where she was. "Ugh, I'm too tired and full to move twenty feet across the hall," she had said. I pulled her up off the bed by her armpits and had dragged her towards the door, before shoving her out. "Hey, Hey. Be nice, I just bought you Chinese food. And tomorrow... I am taking you shopping to take your mind off things, okay?" I nodded in agreement and she had closed the door behind her with a smile on her face, which I mirrored on my way back into my apartment.
The next morning, the sun filtered through my blinds and woke me up. I sat buried in my covers a long time, just surrounding myself in the warmth and comfort of my bed. My phone buzzed due to a text reminding me that Rachel would be over in five minutes to take me out. I convinced myself to roll out of bed and then dragged myself to the bathroom. Maybe I could attempt to make myself look like less of a zombie than I already did?
The mirror only reflectled how I felt. Dark circles stood out underneath my eyes, a side effect of my recent loss of sleep. Laying in bed at night was always the worst. The silence surrounded me, suffocated me. I wanted to stay asleep forever just to avoid having to repeat the nighttime again. I switched out of my pajama shorts and into a pair of jeans on the floor, swiped some concealer on under my eyes, threw on a sweatshirt, all just in time to hear Rachel's knock on my door. She rushed me out the door and through the McDonalds drive-thru for breakfast (not my favorite...).
We spent the rest of the day driving around to different stores, trying on clothes, and buying random things. I was happy, but the whole time I couldn't stop thinking about Casey. It was the first day I hadn't visited him since the accident. The same thought kept appearing in the back of my head all day. Him laying unconscious in that bed forever. The strongest painkillers couldn't numb the pain it gave me. I was completely and utterly lost, just walking through life with a constant storm inside my head, not allowing me to wake up from the horrible nightmare my life had suddenly become. I tried to keep a smile on my face to at least keep Rachel off my back. But really even as we were doing these fun, happy things, I couldn't stop myself from just wanting to break down. I missed him.
I eventually convinced her to let me drive home, which I didn't even end up going to.
Instead, I went to the hospital. "Hey, Noah! You missed that turn!" She pointed towards the way home. I replied,"I know, I can't go home just yet." Rachel rolled her eyes and said,"Let me guess, we're going to visit Casey aren't we?"
"That can't be right! I thought you said he was improving!" I could see the doctor cringe back at my shout but he didn't seemed moved by the fact that the one person I truly wanted next to me right now, would probably never wake up. "His brain activity is slowing down and the machines are basically all that are keeping him alive right now. Now, that doesn't mean a miracle can't happen," he replied.
"Miracles my ass, can't you do something, anything?" He shook his head. "Like I said to his mother, it's all up to Casey now. You can speak to him, people's voices have been known to wake up coma patients. Supposedly they can hear you." The thought rolled over in my head. If he heard my voice talking to him, maybe he would wake up... I couldn't do that right now though. I had to get out of there, it was all too much. I met Rachel in the waiting room again and we drove home in silence. We parted our ways with a simple goodbye and I crawled into my bed without changing. I wrapped myself up in the same way I had this morning, but suddenly all the warmth and comfort was gone and all I had left was the cold sheets against my skin and the pit of sadness in my stomach.
Sleep was impossible, once again. No matter how many positions I tried or how many cups of tea I drank, my eyes couldn't flutter closed. I needed to get out and do something, but with my only friend asleep across the hall, I didn't have much options.
I drove my car to the only place I knew that felt like home now. The hour of driving it took was lonely, due to
the fact that my normal companion wasn't with me. By the time I reached the destination, tears were rolling down my face in heavy streams and my stomach was heaving with sobs. I didn't know why I even came, all the memories I had at this spot, our spot, were happy and the last time we were here was the last time I ever saw him smile. It was here that he kissed me for the last time and where we first really enjoyed ourselves together. Why did it all have to be like this? Would he ever even be able to come back here, the place his father had first taken him for comfort?
I pulled my hands into my sweatshirt sleeves for warmth and pushed open the car door. The wet ground indented underneath my weight, and I made my way through the woods. Memories of me in my hello kitty shorts and Casey making fun of me for it, flashed in front of my eyes. The tears kept streaming but I pushed on. This was the last bit of Casey I had if he really was going to be gone. I had to make it to the beach for him. The cold wind bit at my face and made the leaves howl. It was almost creepy here on your own. I don't think it was the fact that I was in the middle of the woods, it was the pure thought that I was here without him for the first time.
I came upon the clearing. The sky was empty of stars but the water still rushed over the sand in waves with a dark, crystal sheen. I pushed a branch out of my way, pulling off my shoes as well. My feet hit the chilly sand which sunk in between my toes. I was back again.
It wasn't until I discovered his beanie laying in the sand from the first time we came, that I collapsed in the sand in tears. I clutched the hat tight in my hands, along with all the memories of our past few weeks together. I had never felt more alone.
YOU ARE READING
Apartment 6F
Teen Fictionthere was a boy. there was a girl. they weren't supposed to share an apartment. but they do, and there's nothing they can do about it. Of course Noah and Casey are both in for quite the surprise when they're thrown into the same apartment with no es...
