you can fly even higher

heart attack (tsukki)

Tsukishima Kei

"Oi, calm down", he says, but you can't stop it now.

Your body is on automatic and you can't stop walking from side to side, nor shaking nor thinking that everything is going to be awful.

"Oi", he repeats, but you don't listen.

You too into your own pessimist thoughts to even be aware of your surroundings.

"Oi!", you jump out of your skin when you feel his hands hold your shoulders firmly. You look at him with wide scared eyes and for a moment your heart skips a few beats that make you think that you're dead. "Stop moving. You are making things worse".

He looks angry and you don't exactly blame him. Kei isn't famous for his patience, on the contrary, he lacked patience just as you lacked confidence. You let out a shaky breath and look down.

"I'm sorry, Tsukishima-san. Is just that I'm - "

"You're nervous, I get it", he interrupts rudely. "Is your first game in the Nationals and that's a big deal, I know", you move your hand to scratch your forehead in an embarrassed and anxious way. "But you need to calm down or you're going to make a fool of yourself out there".

He is right, you say to yourself. Of course, he is. Tsukishima Kei is always right.

But you can't stop yourself from thinking of how many people outside will be seeing you, how much people were going to be screaming and yelling and all the bad scenarios that could happen. You could fall stupidly; you could miss a set and then the ace will not be available to spike it. Or maybe your services will not pass the net and then the coach will put you on the bench again and - you couldn't continue thinking about it. It makes you more anxious and nervous than you already are.

Is too much for you.

"I'm sorry", you whisper, still looking at the floor.

"Don't apologize. Everyone has their own problems when it comes to playing volleyball. Just calm down".

"I can't. I don't want to disappoint my team. We have worked so hard to be here; I don't want us to lose because of my stupidity".

"Oi, look at me", he says and when you hide your face behind your hands, he rolls his eyes and grabs them out of your face.

He takes them in both of his like they are the most important and powerful thing you could have, but all you can think about while he holds you in such an intimate way is that you're on the verge of a heart attack.

When you look at his eyes through his glasses, you find a serious look that fits him in all ways but also a look that makes you calm down.

"Listen. You're a good setter and you'll be going to do good today. You just need to focus. Focus on winning, in finding ways for your team to win. Okay?"

"Okay", you answer, in a very low whisper, still kind of out of the breath of how intimidating and powerful Tsukishima suddenly looks while he talks to you.

"Now take deep breaths, concentrate and win", you nod, he nods and then, he lets go of your hands as fast as he grabbed them.

"Alright", you say, still in a low voice.

You close your eyes, stand straight, and start to take deep breaths. After a few seconds of doing it, your body was relaxed and you told yourself that your team could win the game, that you could help them win.

When you look at Tsukishima Kei again, he is looking at you with a little smirk on his face and you, maybe by instinct, smile at him before closing the gap between the two of you in a hug.

The blond was surprised by it, judging by the sound he got out, but eventually, he hugged you back, awkwardly, but he hugged you back.

"Thanks, Tsukishima-san".

"Don't mention it".

And, thanks to him, you did a great job in that game and the next one and then the next until you were holding the National's trophy on your hands and he was smirking proudly from the sidelines.