Nobody's Girl

Chapter 16

MALUMS POINT OF VIEW

Today she's talking with her brothers. I'm not going with her because she has been quite submissive. She's been playing by the rules and everything else, but I can tell something is...off. She's dancing, dancing on the thin line between loosing and something else I can't quite understand. I didn't want a submissive woman. I wanted one I could break, one I could hurt. I'm loosing interest in the game she's playing.

She's wearing a dress, light pink, down to her knees, a simple T-shirt dress. Then she put on white sneakers and tied up her hair. I watched as she got ready, I'm sitting on her bed whilst watching her bustle around, getting ready. It's infuriating how she walks like the wind and smiles like the sun. It's infuriating how she's doing everything right, not just right, but perfectly.

The wedding in in one week, broadcasted for the whole world to see. She doesn't seem the least bit nervous, not the least but outraged. It's like the girl who helped the woman I had captured escaped had died, and a perfect pink rose replaced her. Not a skip in her step not a smile line left unwrinkled. I wanted to hit her just for being good, for being all I could not. I know I couldn't before the wedding though.

Shes at lunch, her 3 brothers were patted down and searched. One had found a note from a guy named Will? Or was it Luke? I can't remember and it doesn't matter, she's mine. No one can see her unless it's through me.

Nearing the end of lunch I enter the gazebo and sit next to her. Her brothers seemed...surprised? Happy? This was all very hard, very confusing for me.
"Hey, I was just telling them how excited I am, how happy I am to be here and get to finally wear feminine clothing and be myself." She looked at me and smiled.
I smiled back pretending to know what emotion other than anger felt like.
"Adam, Tom, Ryder," I nodded to them and they me.
"Thank you your majesty. For being so kind to my sister," Tom said.
""Don't call me your majesty, please, you're to be my brother in law. And thank you, I'm glad I can make her happy," I chuckled.
They looked at me strangely and then proceeded to laugh as well.
"You're getting married?" Ryder asked.
Oh that's why they looked at me strangely, she hasn't yet told them.
"Yes it seems in odd predicaments you find love, even if you weren't searching for it," she said looking into my eyes.
All I could think of was how could she have been such a great actress.
"I'm happy for you," Adam said,
"For the both of you," he continued.
"Thank you, it feels good to have your blessing, you're welcome to come and stay at the castle next week before the wedding," I offer.
"Really?" Ryder raised his eyebrows.
"Of course!" I said back.
They all looked surprised.
"Please guys, for me?" Aurora pleaded and of course they caved to that. She had that certain way about her.

At last she said goodbye and said she couldn't wait to see them next week. She hugged them and they her. It was annoying. To see a loving and doting family. I never had it, all I had was a dead mother and a power hungry father. I'm snapped out of my thoughts when Ryder extends his hand to me, in silent gratitude. I shook it and then they filed back into the limo. Aurora waved at the car until they were out of sight. Then she turned and wrapped her arms around my waist. I rolled my eyes at her dramatics and then wrapped my arms around her as well.

She's in her room painting, closing her eyes now and then as if searching her mind for something. I turn off the tablet that has the video of all the security camera in it and chuck it against the wall in anger. I shouldn't be angry at her, for being who she is. She just seems, to perfect. To perfect for me.

FLASHBACK

My mom lets me out to play in the front yard, cursing a god that she had a boy and not a girl. There I see a bird, struggling to walk. I pick it up and place it in front of me. My curious 6 year old eyes wandering over the delicate red body of the bird. I take it in my hands and wonder what it would feel like to feel the neck crack in my hands. I wonder what it would feel like to rip the wings of the bird, to rip its legs off.

My mom found me later that day in the front yard with blood covering me and my baby teeth shining in a smile. 'Boys will be boys,' she said. Then it was a cat, then it was a dog. I just wanted to test my limits. I loved the sound and the feeling of the cracking. The wateriness of the blood. The feeling of having someone's life, somethings life, quite litterly in my hands. Given by a God, taken by a boy.

I began to watch everything through a window. My mom and father, the love they had for each other I wanted that, I needed that. I couldn't feel it though. My dad would say a joke and the whole dinner party would crack up, but I didn't feel the tickle of a giggle in my stomach. When my mom passed away I wasn't sad, I couldn't process that emotion. Everything seemed the same. I began to pretend, laugh with those laughing, crying when others cried. I became so good at it that I myself began to believe that I actually felt those emotions. When my mom died because of the virus though, everything ripped away from me, the imagination of feeling, ripped away. I became so incredibly numb.

END FLASHBACK.

I have a meeting today but it's late so I sleep in. It's around 11 and I'm surprised Aurora hasn't asked me for food yet, unless she broke the rules and talked to someone. I smile to myself, excited she finally gets to meet my wrath. I strode to her room and opened the door. She wasn't there. I check the bathroom. Wasn't there. I start to panic. I check the closet. She wasn't there. I breath to myself knowing she's in the painting room. I open the door and expect to find her brushing a rough canvas. What I'm greeted with is all her paintings on the floor, not in a robbery type way, but in a methodical, practical, intentional placement. I take a step back and realize she's been painting a map of the castle grounds, everywhere she's been, I though she was just admiring Bc the beauty around me. Tilting her head up she wasn't thinking about her next brush stroke, she was remembering the passages and corridors. Then I notice an open window in the paining room, I had left one unglued and unbolted for air filter at ion for her painting, a privilege she had not yet lost. 4 bed worths of sheets tied together and flung out the window. She wasn't changing her bed sheets she was collecting. Calculating. Observing.

I stepped back and smiled to myself.

Game on.