In Between [ATARAXIA Series #1]

003

It's been a week since Jazxer said he will find an answer to that question but after our conversation, I didn't see him anymore. I knew it. He'll surrender. If we are in the same situation answering that question is impossible. We are dying and nothing will change if we go out in this place. 

"Azzelle, do you want to go to the garden? It's good for you to catch fresh air. That's what Dr. Sid said." I was snapped back when Yvon speak. He smiles at me while fixing the glucose cord that is attached to my hand and he arranged my medicine in my medicine cabinet. 

"Yvon..." I called him. He shifted his attention to me. 

"Why? Do you need something?"

"Do you know someone named Jazxer here in the hospital?" I raised my eyebrow when I noticed that he stop moving. He looks so stunned as if he didn't expect me to ask him that. 

"Yvon?" he flinched when I called him once again. "Are you okay? You look pale." he shrugged and smile again but I know it was a force. 

"Jazxer? I never heard that name. Maybe he is from another department or floor. You know, I am just assigned here on this floor." I nodded. I groan when my heart all of a sudden throbs. But it was gone after a second. "Are you okay?" 

"Yes, it's just normal pain like Dr. Sid said to me. By the way, I want to go on the rooftop. Hospital Garden is no fun anymore." Yvon nods and helps me to stand. I hold my IV pole as a support. The doctor attached an IV fluid because I feel devastated every day. Which is normal because my heart is continuously losing its strength to pump. And my doctor said if I didn't get a heart donor in time I'll die but I decline it. We'll I'm dying. I'm just kicking because of the nonstop medication. Those medicines keep me alive while suffering. 

We use the elevator to go to the rooftop. I automatically closed my eyes when we reached the rooftop the sun made me blind but a second later I managed to adjust. The rooftop has trees and benches too like the garden. I sat on the wooden bench the sun isn't hurting my skin. When the air blew in my direction I closed my eyes and feel it. 

"Azzelle, I need to go for a while. Dr. E-Sid is calling me." I gazed at Yvon. He is looking at his phone with an expression that seems he is in trouble and it's something serious. 

"Sure, you can go, I can go back to my room don't worry." he gives me a look that he is having second thoughts about leaving me here. But he nodded in the end. 

He took a defeated sigh. "Take care," he said to me before running back toward to elevator.  I roamed my eyes around there was no one there except me. I closed my eyes again I feel the wind dancing around me. Being alone is one of my favorite feeling. I just me. I don't need to listen to others. I don't need to explain. I don't need to hide what I want. Being alone gives me freedom. At the same time, it's dragging me somewhere deeper. Drags me to the good and bad things that will cloud my mind. 

I opened my eyes when I heard footsteps like someone was running. And I'm right because the moment I open my eyes I saw Jazxer standing in front of me holding his knees and panting heavily. But even though he is sweating and looks so tired a familiar smile never fades from his lips. 

"Azzelle! I know already the answer to your question!" he happily said.  Like he fulfills something that he wishes for. He excitedly grabbed my arm which made me wince because of little pain from the sudden force.  "Let's go. I will show you the answer." he was about to drag me when his eyes caught the IV pole that I'm holding. He turned to me with sad eyes. 

"Did you have another attack again? And this time is serious." I give him a nod. I don't have any reason to lie. 

He took a sigh. "Let's go," when he held my hand gently this time. He guided me until we get inside the elevator.