In Between [ATARAXIA Series #1]

007

"Azzelle, you look so sad," Yvon said when he entered my hospital room. I am sad. Maybe, I don't know.

"It's been a month since I last saw him," I said. Jazxer suddenly disappeared and it's been a month.

"Who?" Yvon sat on the monoblack chair near my bed. And it's been also a month since my doctor said I need to wear an oxygen mask all the time. One day I just woke up it was so hard to breathe. So they put a mask on me. Every time I sleep. My heart began to malfunction the oxygen didn't flow in my heart regularly. It's abnormal. It's a sign that I'm slowly defeated by this sickness. And they are afraid it will stop beating while I'm sleeping so I need to wear oxygen when I sleep.

"My friend..." I said. He gives me a suspicious look.

"A friend only? But your eyes it's telling that he's not just a friend." I avoided his gaze.

"Care to tell me? I've been taking care of you for years. I don't mind if you share something." He smiled at me. "And besides it's not good keeping something inside alone. It's frustrating." I took a deep sigh.

"Remember that Jazxer I asked before?" He nodded but something weird in his expression but I chose not to mind it. "He always stayed by my side. He is the reason why I'm.." I don't know how to continue my words.

"The reason why you'd changed right?" I nodded. I heard him sigh.

"He made me see the positive things even though I'm breathing while dying. He helps me find the answers to the questions that keep floating in my mind. He helps me a lot. And he becomes my crying shoulder when my nightmares fed me up." I uttered. I feel the burning corner of my eyes indicating my tears will fall any moment

"It's been a month since he last visited me. I tried to look at him but he didn't show up. And I couldn't find him, all over to this hospital." I said. Our last topic was when he kept saying things that I cannot understand. Things that keep bothering me.

"I miss him... I'm worried. And I feel so incomplete." I said. I turned to Yvon he just looked at me like he was trying to read my eyes. 

"Y-you like him?" My heart began to beat abnormally after hearing that. I am? Did I like him? But how? We just met. 

"I-I don't know..." I almost whispered that. Yvon stood up and ruffled my hair and smiled at me. A smile that gave me an assuring feeling.

"I don't know him but I see that he makes you so happy. He will be back. He will visit you once again. Maybe he is just busy. You said he's a patient too. The patient needs medication too... But if I were you I will confess my feelings. Life is too short, Azzelle." I slowly nodded to him. I saw something in his eyes. A fear which I couldn't understand and that I choose to shrug off. After that, he left. My eyes were fixed on the art on my wall. The smiles of those people. We saw it on the road. I closed my eyes and flashed to my mind and I end up smiling.

Did I already like him? Or more?

Life is too short. Did I need to tell him my feelings? Before everything ends.

Where are you Jazer? 

I miss you... I do. 

***

I woke up when I feel someone poking my cheeks while giggling. My heart hammered hearing a familiar chuckle. It's him. 

"Hey, Azzelle. Wake up." I immediately sit on my bed when I confirmed it was him. 

"Hey, easy. Don't move like that." He said. I can't help but smile while looking at him.

"Hey, are you okay? Why are you crying?" I touched my cheek dam! He was right I'm crying. I wiped it off right away.