The Lost Teller

Im not you!

After 3 hours of shopping, I convinced Gemma that we got enough stuff for me. And headed back to her house after it was all unpacked and all put away. We headed back to TM. "Jackson called me a bit ago said when we get there for you to go back to the dorm. He wants to talk to you. Sounded serious so I wouldn't dilly dally missy." Gem said smirking laughing "yeah yeah Jackson can blow me. He's not my father. He doesn't decide what I do and how fast I do it." I sassed already tried of this controlling older brother of mine. Gemma just laughed "you sound like Jax when he was a teen whenever clay wanted him to do something. It's crazy how alike you two really are." She just smiled and kept driving. Once we arrived I decided to take my time any way. And stopped at the bar to talk to juice who was tending the other guys "you know Jax is waiting for you? He seemed pretty pissed about you walking off." Tig said sitting next to at me the bar smirking. "He can keep waiting. I don't take orders." I growled making Juice lightly chuckle "you tellers are all stubborn bastards" he said as he handed me a water. "Dakota I know Gemma told you to come find me. Get your ass up. We need to talk." Jax came stomping over from the back in the dorms. "And I don't take orders from arrogant assholes who think they own the damn world. I'll come talk when I feel like it. You aren't my boss." I snapped as I did Mary appeared be side him. "Mary what are you doing here?" I asked her confused. "Well I came here to sign off of the legal paper work of your custody to Mr. Teller. As of today you are officially no longer a ward of the state. As well as no longer in my case load. This will hopefully be the last we see each other. I hope you find everything you wanted here kiddo stay outta trouble. Bye boys." She smiled and came to give me a small hug and walked out. "Dakota, please just follow me." Jax slightly pleaded. I obliged and followed him to the back dorm. He went and sit on the bed and I stayed leaned against the wall staring at my shoes. "As far as this morning goes its a club matter. And what you know never leaves this club house. As far as you walking away. That stops. If I or anyone here is talking to you, you don't walk away from them. Look I think we need to set some ground rules here for everyone's sake." That last part he said got my attention. I looked up "rules? You realize your an outlaw criminal right? Rules don't really seem to apply well around here. Even if you are the one making them." I laughed he however didn't look as amused. "Dakota this isn't just some big joke. You can't run around and do whatever you want anymore. You get arrest or into trouble it doesn't get pushed aside any more. The consequences are gonna be real now. And your actions will start to reflect onto the club." He started to raise his voice at me. I pushed back my urge to run and tried to keep the slight shaking I was doing hidden. "That's not my fault. I told you to let me just go! You choose this! Not me! Hell no one even asked what I wanted.! Not that it seemed to matter what I wanted anyways! You all made up your mind! You all think that I'll just suddenly accept everything and be a normal teenage and join the family like it's nothing. ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN! I'm not like you! I'm not like any of you! I'm a fucked kid who sees the world in black and white! I always have! You all seem to just want to forget that! Pretend it's not true and it will all disappear! That's not how this works. I SHOULD BE DEAD! My mother never wanted me and god only knows if my father actually knew or even cared enough to want me since he didn't stick around long enough for anyone to know! Do you have any idea what it's like to go to sleep every night not sure if when you wake up you will be in beaten to death or raped or be sent away again? To want nothing more then to just end it all before it can even happen but we're too pathetic to ever go through with it. So you run and build more damn walls to the point to where You don't even know where they start or end any more. You, don't know a damn thing about me. And I'll be damn I'm gonna sit here and be lectured on how I should act so you look good for you stupid club." At this point I was full on shaking not outta nervous but outta straight anger. It was pouring outta me. But this time he looked completely calm. Like he was prepared for this. "Feel better?" He asked like it was nothing. I just glared at him instead of answering because everything I was thinking wasn't very kind. "No one is expecting you to be something you're not. You have been through hell we all get it. We do. And you can scream and yell and blame me as much as you want. Do what ever you need to do. But do here. Not out there. Not because I give a shit how it affects the club because I give a shit about how it will affect you. The consequences you could personally face if you're not careful. The club is involved with a lot of dangerous people. And as of now you are part of this life and this family. Which makes you vulnerable and the cops will start to pay attention to you again but for different reasons now. But you are clearly tough as nails everyone can see that. And no one doubts it either. But you're also still a kid. And you're my responsibility now. Which makes this all my business. As far as the rules, had you let me finish before you went off. I was gonna say that as far as rules go, there is just one, don't be stupid. That was it. But you had to go it make it difficult. And yet you try to tell me you aren't like me. Sorry to break it to you babe but you and I are one In the same. Because I would have done the same damn thing." He grinning Like some proud asshole. Meanwhile I'm standing there feeling very stupid now. "How did shopping go?" He asked standing up to grab a pack of cigarettes off his desk lighting on. "Fine, your mother bought a whole damn store almost." I huffed. "Sounds about right. She said the house should be done in another week or two so after that once Abel is released the 3 of us will be moving back into there. If you want to that is. Gem said you can stay there up to you. Also I talked to Tara she's gonna look into getting you an appointment with the hospitals pediatric therapist on staff. You need to start talking to someone about all that shit buried in that head." He said and started to the door. I just nodded and went and took his spot on the bed staring at the floor he turned back for a moment "I gotta go help with club shit. If you need anything call Ma or me got it" He said as he walked out the door not waiting for answer. I flopped back wards onto the bed. "This place makes hell seem chill." I stated out loud to myself.