The Lost Teller

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  It's been a whole month now since I first met everyone. Abel is home, I've been going to therapy every week like clock work and I was enrolled in online homeschool thank god for juice being able to set it up instead of doing public school I start it in 3 months. The guys have all been really busy with club shit lately. And I haven't seen Jax as much since Abel being home and club shit getting more intense. Part of me is worried what I thought is actually starting to happen. I've been locking myself in my room more again. The pills haven't helped me sleep at all. The doc upped my dose and still nothing. They seem relentless. Gemma is worried and wants to tell Jax about it but I begged her not too he has enough on his plate. He asked me if I want to move into his place finally but I said no. Not because I didn't want too, But because I was afraid I would cause more trouble with my night terrors. He already has a baby walking him up at odd hours. Gem and Clay have seemed to stop noticing it at night or they just let me be at this point since their isn't much they can do. But I know Jax wouldn't let it go if he knew. I was sitting at the picnic table trying to stay awake when Jax and Opie walked over "hey kid you look tired. Did you sleep okay last night.?" Opie asked "yea I'm just tired for some reason it's okay." I slightly smiled to try and cover that fact I'm lying through my teeth. "Why don't you go lay down in the dorm" Jax suggested "no it's okay." I said alittle more rushed then I meant it too sound. There was no way I was gonna do that and risk waking up screaming with everyone around. He looked at me weird. "The meds still helping right?" He asked I looked away and just nodded "ya I'm fine Jax." I snapped alittle irritated "Dakota don't lie to me. Look at me right now." He slightly raised his voice. Instead of answering I just got up and started to walk away. "Dakota! Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you!" He shouted clearly getting pissed off now. The fact that he hasn't gotten lots of sleep with a baby at home probably wasn't helping him much either. "Jesus Christ you're not my father! Incase you forgot our father is dead. Just leave me the hell alone.!" I turned around again and yelled right back. "Im calling your damn therapist clearly your fucking hiding shit again. Go to the dorm. I'm not in the mood to deal with this shit." He snapped yelling back at me. I knew better then to answer in the heat of the moment but I couldn't stop myself "Of fucking course. I become to much of an issue and everyone just wants to sent me away. You're no better than anyone else that had to 'deal with me'!" I yelled at him and walked inside slamming the door behind me before he could say anything and stormed off to the dorm locking the door so no one could come in. I picked up the first thing I could grab and threw it as hard as possible at the wall smashing it into pieces. I slid down to the wall feeling defeated.

~Jax pov~
I stood there as Dakota took off inside. "Damnit!" I groaned slamming my fist on the table. "I'm sorry man." Opie said as he just witnessed everything I just shook my head. My ma came walking over "what the hell was all that about I hear you guys screaming from the office?!" She accusedly asked me "it's nothing ma. We will figure it out. Has she been sleeping? She seemed really on edge." I asked running my hand over my face exhausted myself. She looked away and have a conflicted look on her face. "Mom, what the hell is going on?" I asked again "look she asked me not to tell you, she didn't want to make you worry with everything else going on." She sighed "tell me what?" I was worrying now "the meds aren't helping Jackson. I don't think she's got a decent night sleep this whole month. If anything the nightmares have gotten worse since the Travis thing." She explained looking sad. "This has been going on for a month?! Why didn't you tell me! I just yelled at her for hiding shit. She probably hates me now!" I scowled angry at just about everything. "I'm sorry I was just trying to let her have time to tell you herself." She apologized. "That's why she didn't want to move isn't it? She didn't want me to know. Damnit!" I groaned again slamming my hand on the table again. I'm surprised I haven't broken it. I honestly don't even know what to do now, But I have to go talk to her. I got up and walked inside and went to the dorms. I went to open the door and unsurprisingly it was locked. Being it was my room I had the key to it. I unlocked and walked in. First thing I noticed was the smashed mug laying on the floor across the room that was clearly thrown. Dakota was sitting in the chair in the corner staring at the wall. "Go away." She mumbled but was loud enough to hear. "That's not gonna happen. We need to talk. Gemma told me everything, Why didn't you tell me you haven't been sleeping. I could have helped." I went and sat on the side of the bed facing her. "It's fine. It's not a big deal you have other shit to deal with. You don't need to worry about my issues." She grumbled clearly still angry. "Look I'm sorry for what I said. But you can't keep things like this from me. It's not your job to protect me. It's my job to protect you. You're the kid. You not sleeping is a big deal. I need to know when shit like this is going on. I can't help you if I don't know. I know I haven't been really around as much since Abel got home and with everything going on in the club which is on me. At the end of the week you're moving in with me. And before you try to argue, it's not up for debate. It's happening, you can't keep trying to shut me out. And clearly me not being around has made that too easy for you." I let her have it because at this point I'm not letting this slide anymore. "Whatever. Can you leave me the hell alone now." She snapped again. I'm getting tired of her attitude today but I know I'm partly to blame for not knowing what was happening and letting it happen in the first place. "Yea fine." I got up and left the room. I went out to the bar to see my ma and some of the guys "hey mom you mind watching Abel tonight. I'm gonna stay with the kid tonight. At the end of the week I want her moved into my place. I'm don't with her hiding shit and clearly me being back home and her being with you has made it to easy for her." I asked her and told her my new plan to get control on this issue. "Of course baby." She agreed which I knew she would. "Are you sure making her move will help?" She ask "I have no clue but I'm doing it regardless" I shrugged and walked off and went to the roof to smoke and clear my head.