The Lost Teller

Heal the Hurt

(Warning -Mentions and involves Self harm)

I was sobbing so hard I could barely breath. I needed to make it stop. The pain, the hurt I needed to to focus on anything else. I grabbed the knife I had stored in the dresser and flipped it open, I tried to take a breath but I couldnt that's when I dug the knife into my arm right as the door opened again. Jax walked back in with a large envelop in his hand that he immediately drop and was beside me in a second ripping the knife away from me tossing it god knows where. "Dakota what hell are you doing" he shouted at me worry filling his voice as he grabbed whatever he could to hold it against my arm. Still struggling to breath I tried to answer but it barely comes out audible "you walked out... I just wanted the pain to stop.. I want it to stop.. let me make it stop.." I was shaking violently sobbing even harder if that was even possible. "Shit I didn't.. I'm so sorry I wasn't walking away I just had to go get something to show you." He pulled me into him still holding pressure to my arm. "Sack!" Yelled ya the door and he instantly appeared looking worried "get Tara now!" He rushed off. "It's okay. I'm here. Im not going anywhere. I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was happening before hand. I wasn't trying to hurt you. I just couldn't tell anyone outside of the club. Jesus I'm so sorry." He kept whispering trying to calm me down but nothing was working I felt like my throat was closing from sobbing so hard. "Jax, whats hap- omg Dakota" Tara rushed over to us. "Let me see " she immediately became calm and took my arm from Jax removing the cloth cover in blood now. "It's deep. It's gonna need stitches. Dakota I need you to breath. You heart is beating way to fast, your pulse is racing." She was trying her best as was Jax to get me to calm down but it wasn't happening I was practically being cradled in Jackson's arms now. "Jax I need to sedate her. She's gonna have heart attack at this rate." Tara was waiting for him to answer before she moved I was hyperventilating at this point, he nodded. And the next thing I knew my eyes went heavy and everything went dark.

~Taras pov
I walked into the dorm and immediately my heart dropped. Jax was holding pressure to Dakotas arm and the blood was already seeping through the thick cloth of the towel. She was sobbing uncontrollably and breathing very heavy and struggled. As much as I want to be frantic and worried I had to shake it off. I needed to focus for her and for Jax. The cut was deep, and her pulse was rapid and nothing we were saying or doing was helping. Sedating her was the only other option. Once she was asleep Jax made no attempts to move her or let her go. So I worked around him. Carefully cleaning and stitching her arm. Once I was done I put all the medical stuff away and I saw the envelope on the floor. "This is the legal adoption papers right?" I asked picking it up. "Ya. She will be 18 in 4 months I don't want her to think that because she's not legally under my guardianship control or whatever that I don't care. So I had lowan work on it all while I was in side. Legally become her parental whatever the hell she wants me to be honestly. I just wanted her to know she is here to stay for good even when she is an adult. Although clearly I'm screwing that up still. She hurt herself because I walked out." He blames himself for everything that's ever happened to her. He gently laid her down in the bed pulling the chair as close as possible to the bed and sat down taking her hand holding it in both of his. Honestly some days I think he loves her more than he loves me. Hell some days I think I love her more than him. Shes been through so much. This life hasn't been fair to her. It's about time things start to go right for her. "I'm gonna go take the boys home. Sedative should wear off in another 30 minutes or so. She's gonna Be okay Jax." I smiled trying to reassure him and myself honestly. She had to be okay. I don't think Jax would ever forgive him self if she wasn't.